• Lead image by me.

So I was watching a series called Bridgerton the other day and I noticed the way women were portrayed to be this holy being, free of any blemish especially when it comes to intimacy and the men are mostly ignored and even praised even when they do the exact opposite of that, nothing is expected of them, they just swoop in and choose their virgin bride.

Bridgerton is set in the regency era and I should think "oh, that has been a while, we're in the 21st century now, we're in civilization, we should have been able to drive that archaic mentality from our society" but then I think " this is the same thing happening now, no difference"

Then what exactly has changed? What then is civilization if the 'society' still judges women this way?

Double standards according to the Oxford dictionary is a rule or principle which is unfairly applied in different ways to different people or groups

In my article today, I want to discuss popular things that are happening in the society that should not be so especially in this century.

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They are as follows:

1) People they have been intimate with.

I shake my head and get annoyed when I hear about how men are praised and excused when they have a high number of body counts but women are slut-shamed for it, it doesn't make sense, it should not make sense.

I was reading @Jumper-01 's post about unwritten rules, you can check it out here. He said that women can't really come out to say the number of people they have been with. This is true because they'll mostly be judged for it, even by their fellow ladies which just puts me off.

For some of us that watched big brother Naija last year, there was this thing that happened with Erica and Kiddwaya in the house, there was a video of them being intimate on national TV that surfaced on the internet and people started calling her names. I kept wondering why the criticism was only directed to her, I mean the act wasn't performed by her alone.

I expressed my displeasure then on my Whatsapp status, I am not one up for such kind of stuff especially on national TV but then maintain the energy when it comes to both of them if you have to judge them, judge them both, don't spare the man, don't give him a free pass just because he is a man.

2) Excusing cheating

I have heard people talk about this and I'm like " what is going on here?"

I was talking to someone about rampant cheating in guys and she was like "it's normal for guys to cheat, it's inevitable"

Why is it inevitable? It should be a vice, not something you get used to. It should not be normal, it should be inexcusable.

I talked to my grandma about this and she said something along the lines of "guys will always be guys", they have always been given this free pass right from time and it's not fair.

Then I talked to a guy one time, he came up with the excuse that guys cheat because they can but women do it because they've fallen out of love or something.

I've seen so many marriages that failed because the man cheated, leaves for a younger woman then he comes back after a while with his family members supposedly a changed man to beg the woman, she is then urged to accept him back and that he has learnt his lesson.

But when a woman cheats, she's qualified as so many names because she has done an abomination and the man probably moves on to marry another woman.

This is not true for everyone though, I have seen a case where the woman was mostly the villain of the whole story, I'm just saying what I know is most rampant.

I once heard of a man who left his loving wife for a younger woman in the name of wanting 'young blood', only to discover after the young woman had a child that the child wasn't his, he then came running back.

This is not me supporting women cheating in any way but I'm just happy because of the Karma.

3) That a man has to hide his emotions.

I feel this is extremely wrong, I have heard people say to men "Man up", " Don't you know that you're a man?", " Why are you acting like a woman" just because he is letting his emotions show, just because he's letting on about how he feels.

I hate the pressure the society puts on men, they set this bar or criteria of how a man should be and criticize them when they don't meet up to standard, it shouldn't be so, everyone should be allowed to feel a certain way.

This is one of the main causes of depression among guys, the struggle to man up, it's unfair.

4) Getting a job or promotion because of intimacy

For those who watched grown-ish by freeform, you'll remember that Luca and Zoey broke up because he assumed she got a particular job because of what she offered or has to offer her employer, joey badass intimately.

This remark is extremely common, a woman doing her thing, getting the bag based on the value she has in the company is being reduced to sentences like " who knows what she and the boss are doing? After all, she's a woman"

I am not saying that there aren't people that get jobs or promotions this way but now saying every woman that accomplishes something does this is so wrong.

In Conclusion

This change has to start with us, if we decide to change the way we address these issues as individuals, it'll change eventually because we all make the society.

Thank you for reading...