I lost My Focus

It's been how many weeks and days that I felt like I was always burden by secrets of others, I know from myself that I.can keep secrets even though I talk a lot, and whenever I talk a lot I always put limitations like I had to zipped my mouth when it comes to talk about secrets. 

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I didn't know why it was always me who knew the truth. Sometimes I see myself crying secretly because I cannot handle the secret that I've known for months now. It really burdens me and I can't laugh when I'm with his family because my conscience is killing me. 

It's been a month since Mr. A told me about his secret, that after being married for thirty years he didn't know why he cheated, like he had an affair with someone else and already had a 3 months old baby boy with that other woman. 

I was shocked because he was the person I could think of less to do that things because I know, all the people who know him rather know that he is a devoted husband to his wife  and a good father to his children. 

My tears fell that time and asked him why me? Why was he telling me all of it? and his reason was he needed me to process his baby's certificate of live birth since she gave birth secretly, and he wanted that child to have his surname.

Since I knew it, I rarely go to their place because I feel guilty. His family is so good to me and I can't face his family because I felt that I betrayed them and I am not in the position to interfere with their lives. 

Right now, I am still burdened and still waiting for Mr. A to confess to his family so that I can be free. 

Last Monday I went to our Municipal Hall to process the certificate of live birth of that kid, but before then I went first to our Barangay to get the Certification of live birth since it is the primary requirement at the LCR (Local Civil Registrar). 

When the secretary asked me who is the father of the child, I was just answered that the mother has no husband, she got pregnant and the father of the kid left them alone, of course I had to say those words because they know Mr. A, and I was determined to not get caught or else I was doomed. 

She (The Barangay Secretary)  put their (N/A) and the reason behind it. When I reached the LCR at our Municipal hall, I bought a correction tape and erased it and then I wrote the name of the Father. 

Thankfully I had a friend that is working at the LCR and he made my work easier, but still it took a week before they would release the Birth certificate. I had to pay 200 pesos for the Affidavit since they had no marriage certificate to present. 

When I called the other woman and said that I had to go back after a week and she smiled so widely and it irritates me, I can't help but to lift my brows before ending the video call. 

I was done with my part and hopefully when the time comes that his family knows about this secret, all I want is not to involve myself with their fights and others because I know that will happen soon. 

Before I go to bed, I always think about why there are people like that, why there are men that are not content with their family and there are Women who are like that despite knowing that the man has a family but still agreed to be a mistress. 

Sometimes I always think about who is at fault in this situation, and I fall asleep while thinking about it and the first thing I think when I wake up. 

Because of this, I lost my focus to think that I still have an upcoming Exam this September but I am loaded with something else. I have done my part so I think that I have to think about myself now and focus on the things that are not toxic with me. 

Good day read.cash Family, time went by very fast after visiting my account here and decided to share my burdens I noticed that I am 7 months here.

I am happy of course because despite of being not so active I still have a family here that is always listened to my rants and everything.

Thank you so much, from now on I decided to be more active here like before because I really miss being with you all.

That would be all for today, thank you for always reading.

This is me @Dawn_Dii , Have a good day ahead.

Date Published: July 29,2022