Changes

I like taking pictures, back when I was still single, It matter to me how my looks will appear at the camera, It never happened in my entire life that I never check the photos ten times before I upkoaded it to facebook, because it matters to me on how do I look it matters also to maintain my body,  well that was before and everything has a change now. 

According to the married woman here in our neighboorhood, once you will get married, looks is doesn't matter, maintaining your body ? No, You can forget all about it because what comes first into your mind is; Salt, Rice, Viand, and many more things that you needed in your entire life, that simple poise of yours will not remain if your husbands comes home late and all you have to do is to nagging, and Love? yes you are inlove but the most important thing is the income.

They even said that once you had a baby, you can't even takes care if yourself because all your attention is for your baby only.

I was just smiling while listen to them and said to my self that those are never happend to me and I was so confident. 

Most Memorable Moments ;

Of course is to be married with the one you love, who does'nt want it right? that is all the dream of all the person who is inlove. Just to be with the one they love and live happilly ever afer.

Most Embarassing Moment;

When someone took me a picture, with this face and post it on facebook and also printed and congratulate me.( They really are teasing me ) anyways,that was before haha.

Friends, I considered them as my 3rd family, because of course I have my first family which is my mom, dad, and siblings and the Second one is my cousins who raise me, and the third one is my friends. 

I considered them family because I can show to them who I really am, I can laugh freely, I can talk freely, I can be me, being myself without hesitation, they are the ones who knew me more than I know myself.

When my wedding was set, I was so busy doing all the stuff, from printing invitations, ribbons, giveaways and decoration, luckily I have them because every one of them was helping me a lot, one of my friends gave me a free printing for my invitations, and one of them doing the ribbon and another one of them is for giveaways, I never really know that they already assigned themselves for an individual task.

After my wedding, the very conservative me turns into a " I don't care" Me haha.

At first, I didn't know that I had already changed, from my face to my body shape.

When I was still single, my box was full of astringents haha, I don't want to look uglier that I was, I don't want to have pimples and I don't want my crush to see my ugly face, that is why I always takes care of my face no matter what.

Because I was being sensitive to my looks, as well as my body shape, I was always on a diet, at least I can say that I still had an asset.

But when I got married everything changed, specially when I was diagnosed with Postpartum depression,

I was not able to take care of myself because I really don't know where to place myself. I really felt emptiness and I couldn't understand myself, I even saw myself hanging in our living room. 

And I almost got myself hit by a big truck because I didn't know why I was walking beside the street. My depression led me into becoming a big eater. That's why I cannot maintain my body. I had to buy new clothes and jeans because I cannot wear the old ones.

I was a practicum back then, maybe because I was so stress handling my students from gradeschool, as well taking care of my daughter and also takin care of my husband when he gets to work.

When I recovered, I didn't think about fixing myself, sometimes my husband would tell me to fix it at least a little but I was just not in the mood, I just wanted to take care of my child.

At first I couldn't accept that I was getting more ugly and gaining weight, but since my husband didn't complain, I later accepted.

BEFORE:

I was so thin and I always fix my self even I was just at the house the whole day, My day won't be completed for not wearing make up, and I really felt strange when I had no make up, specially when riding a jeep because it feels like everybody is staring at me.

PRESENT:

As what you can see at the picture, there is a lot of changes haha..

and I don't care any more . 💕

FINAL THOUGHT:

Sometimes we can’t accept changes in ourselves, especially and this is what we are used to, but because other people are more accepting of who we are, we also need to accept ourselves, because we will be happy if we accept ourselves. .

Anyway's thank you for reading 💕

Date Published: January 20, 2022