There is a growing percentage of social vices among the youths in the world today and these vices come in different ways and shapes but the biggest challenge is the blame game that has been attached to it. When these youths are caught in the act, we hear people make comments like; their parents have failed in their duties, it is the fault of their parents, they had no go home training and so on. These comments and assumptions are what has become the petrol that pumps the fire of social vices in our world today. You will be wondering what must have inspired me into writing this article. There is an ongoing case about a 21-year-old girl who killed a married man she has been having fun with. This is no movie because it is a case that is ongoing in Nigeria. From the information gathered from the girl, she was raised by a single mother which I think does not have anything to do with what or who she has become. The story is very long and it has so many versions out there, but the version I will write here is what I heard from the interview that was conducted on the girl by pressmen and woman of various media houses in Nigeria.
From the Horse’s Mouth
When she was asked why she killed the man, she said it was a case of self-defence. Now, she contradicted herself when she went on further to narrate how it all happened. In her narrative, she said that after they (she and the victim) had finished having the first round of sex which she never consented to, she sat in front of the television in the hotel smoking and drinking not excluding eating some other things that were presented to her. Now, in her story, she said that the man came for the second round but she did not want it since the first one was not done with her consent, she rejected it. According to her, it was at this time that she tried to fight back by stabbing the man when he wanted to rape her. This could have been the end of the story but she said something else that incriminated her. She said that when the man tried to have his way the second time and she rejected, she said that the man gave her his ATM card and told her to go and withdraw any amount of money she wanted if that will make her happy just for them to enjoy their outing. Don’t forget that this was not the first time she has slept with this particular man.
After receiving the ATM card, she refused and that was what made the man force himself on her but in self-defence, she stabbed the man twice in the chest. Now, this was where the twist of the story became more interesting. She said that she left the hotel room without raising an alarm at least to try and save the life of the man. I am sure we all know that killing a human being is a very huge task for one to do and gently go about her business without telling others or reporting herself to the authorities since she believed it was an act of self-defence. When police were tipped off from the hotel management, she was arrested and after carrying out investigations, they found out that she left the hotel room with the ATM card which the man gave to her and rushed down to make some withdrawals. Who does that? After stabbing someone we can say is your friend, you dared to take his ATM card to go and withdraw some money and yet, you want us to believe that it was a case of self-defence. I will end the story here because the matter has not been settled yet but I would go to the main reason why I decided to talk about this case in this article.
The Blame Game
As I was listening to a radio program this morning, they were trying to x-ray what could have made such a beautiful and innocent looking girl carry out such a dastardly act. I must confess that the girl in question has this great beauty and innocence that can make anyone vouch for her. What led her into such an attitude? In the radio program, people called in to give what they believed could have led her into such a life and from what many of them said it became clear to me that they were blaming her single mother who has been taking care of her. In all honesty, would you say that the girl’s mother is to be blamed?
When a child is born, he begins to learn both the good and the bad at such a tender age and most of the things he would learn at that early stage are self-thought. But when a child becomes an adult, he begins to learn not just from his parents but from his friends and peers. Parents are like a coach in a football team who can only tell the players what to do during the training session, but whatever the players do in a proper match is solely up to them. This is what happens with training a child who grows to become a teenager with the ability to choose from the overflowing options that face him in reality. Blaming the mother of this girl is like blaming the coach when a player misses a penalty in a football match. The girl who is an adult had the right and the choice to live a better life but her quest or should I say her relationship with the wrong set of people changed who her mother thought her to be. Even though the mother is a single parent that does not give her or anyone the right to blame her for the life her daughter chose to live. There are millions of homeless children and even orphans who do not have a parent to advise them but grow up to become the best they want to be in society. Mind you, this girl was going to school from home so she was getting pieces of advice from her mother but she made her choice not to take them to heart.
Blaming the parents especially the mothers when a child becomes a bad egg in society has become our greatest enemy towards achieving a better society. If we begin to allow children who have reached the legal year stipulated by their country to face the law whenever they go contrary without blaming their parents, a lot of them will seat up rather than continuing in social vices knowing that the public will always blame it on their parents. It is time to call a spade a spade.
I love you.
Both parties are to be blamed.
The parents for failing in their duties... because if the child turn out good all the praises will be diverted to them for training such child properly.
And the child for being a bad ambassador of his/her family. We have lots of children who have no parents and they survived. Hence both parties are at fault.