I lost a year with my son fighting for school but today, I have decided to end it.
My nine year old son and I were in the middle of our usual daytime battle of asynchronous classes. He had his writing assignment in hand, he had written several well thought out complete sentences. But he wouldn't have done it right the first time, at least not without a fight.
Suddenly I told him that he didn't have to write about his best day as requested by his teacher, he could write about his worst day. What's more, he could write about whatever he wanted as long as he wrote a few sentences.
He said that he would get in trouble if he did that and he started saying that he was doing everything wrong, that nothing was going right for him. He was on the verge of tears, but he didn't know why.
And then I realized.
And instead of getting frustrated and pushing him and forcing him to do his homework, I sat down with him at his desk.
I told him “you won't get in trouble and you won't fail third grade. In fact, I told him, you are a kind of superhero. "
He settled slightly in his chair and looked at me incredulously.
I said, “Do you know that no child in the history of children has had to do what you are doing now?
“No child in the history of children has had to do school at home, sitting on their bed, at the dining room table or at any desk, watching their teacher and his classmates through a computer. You and your friends are making history.
It was evident that I took a weight off his nine-year-old's shoulders off of him.
"What does that mean?"
I told him it meant that he hadn't given her enough credit for putting up with Mom's inexperience. I told him how proud I am of him and his friends. That the children this year are doing the impossible and doing a really great job.
I apologized to him for not telling him earlier and more often.
A small tear fell down his cheek.
We have thanked everyone from healthcare workers to store clerks, but we have not thanked the children enough for carrying the burden of what we have put on his shoulders this year.
We have said that children are resilient, and they are. But they are the real superheroes in this whole scenario for not being able to decide, to do, to go out and yet they are doing their best to adapt every day.
This was supposed to be temporary and here we are a year later still trying to keep our heads above water.
This is our home and I will no longer make it a battlefield for something we cannot control. Something that no longer makes sense.
A year later I understood.
That is why I say to you from the heart, hug your little superheroes today and do not forget to give them the love, courage and recognition that we have given to all the others.
