Cold War in relationships

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2 years ago

Chats are on hold, no more calls like other days, shoulders being shrugged and if anything, air is filled of uneasiness and jumbled thoughts. Ego kicking in sometimes, both sides won't give up and it's like something really bad has happened to mutual understanding which was always there earlier. Care, love, bond, thoughts everything is intact between both the parties but its the lack of communication which has occurred due to some incident. It was my literal explanation of the term "cold war". Since it's a dominant trait of my personality, I straightaway rage a cold war with the person who hurts me and I can tell you it's a very tight situation and no apology works till my mood aligns with it.

Types of participants :

source : unsplash.com
  • The ever quiet : If the cold war is being waged, they will literally cut off and they are the ones who make it colder. They are hard to console and if the other participant wants to withdraw and make settlements, he/she is surely gonna have a hard time.

  • The settler : They believe in settlement and can't stay quiet for too long for their image of being jolly fellows and forget whatever happened. They just want to get along again and are good at merry making. My sibling(brother) is the one for me.

  • The Realizer : A brawl of some kind always precedes these kinds of conflicts. There is always those who realize their part in entire situation and are good to apologize first. Sometimes they do it even if it was a 50 50 scenario.

  • The waiter : They just wait to be consoled or they wait for the right time and opportunity to get along again. Happy times or ones of need are always good to forget the issues earlier.

Isn't it worst?

source : unsplash.com

Of course, cold war is the worst to happen in any kind of relationship. The main reason why they are mental torture : "there is a sense of unsettlement and the decision is in pending state until the next exchange of words. Meanwhile if days pass by, it starts pestering how we were all super cozy together and how the distance is being maintained now". Though nobody is willing to give up but there are always second thoughts and grudges deep in hearts. In this very context only, there is a personal episode of me any my dad which I would like to mention and to my surprise, it continued for seven days and even after being in the same house, we both asked mom about each other's whereabouts(lol). My father finally broke the silence. So the care and love and bond persists but the act of expressing oneself to the other guy fails and it gives rise to thoughts and pending judgements only. I wonder how hard it would get for those to get hit by this, who are a family of two only and live together away from home at their jobs. They sure would cope with a lifestyle of pressure and cold silence in their now so called rest hours.

My opinion :

Yeah you guessed it right, we are back to my blog my opinion thing lol :

  • Make settlements : Its nothing bad to say sorry first, even if you are not at fault or are have your part only a bit, it will show your calm state of mind and gratitude toward the other person for being in your life. It will show them how important they are to you and may bring a realization of their mistake also(I myself try to follow this sometimes and I am improving).

  • Inevitable but avoidable : When you get caught in one and you really can't get over, think about happy memories you guys have made together so far and maybe, scroll your gallery for your captured and recorded moments. Those glimpses will push you to make merry. Be ready for other person's resentment and coldness as they aren't in the same state of mind as you are but make them understand how you feel about the situation in a calm way.

  • Give it a break maybe : If its too severe and you both can't kick it off, give it some time to settle, time always heals wound and then you can cover for the damage inflicted by your love and oneness. Though I wouldn't encourage to be at war and let time decide for you but it can't be ignored in some cases.

  • Pre analysis : If you work on your temper, it will always be very very beneficial and a person not losing his calm is always better to have a interaction with. Try to analyse the situation when you are almost getting in a clash and maybe, it can be avoided even before it happens(I myself have tried this with my brother).

My finishing words are always happy ones and today too I go like : Be it any kind of conflict in a relation, love bears the power to heal it and when it's between those who respect having each other by their side with all their soul, conflicts bring a greater understanding once it gets over. Its like a fierce rain which brings a bloom to Earth when it gets over. But how it gets over is all up to you, after all you are the one who is making adjustment and are at loss of losing someone temporarily like they never were. Better early than waiting and never give up on those who matter.

Thanks for reading!!!!!

Thanks : https://unsplash.com/ for just right free images always..

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Comments

I totally agree and experience cold wars. Before I think I am the settler, the one who wants to talk about the conflict right away and forget-about-it-because-our-relationship-matters-more-than-this. But my partner is the ever quiet, which drives the settler in me crazy. But I learned that I have to just be quiet for a while, and calm things down, and after a how many hours (of torment.loljk), we'd talk about it and do something about it. :) I can say that it really takes two to tango.

Thanks for sharing!

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2 years ago

nice to hear about your experience....they are pestering and should be tried to avoid much as we can...thanks for visiting

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2 years ago

Sure!in relationship,it always occur block chat again,and block,break up and meet up And break up.I think two partners as you mentioned need care and trust that is all😍

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2 years ago

yeah bro and not only love but I wrote this for any relationship thats important to us

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2 years ago