A perspective on helplessness

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Written by

Crypto believer, blogger, story writer, computer science undergrad loving dogs at core!!!

3 years ago

Ever stuck in a situation where you just felt helpless with a feeling that there is nothing at this moment to make it better. Circumstances like how hard you try, you just can't pull them off this time. Like the harm is being done in front of your eyes and you can't stop it even when you want to put an end to it above anything else. There have a been a lot of situations like these for me and in some of them, I could do nothing but wait for the time to make things right. In some cases, I just had to let go of it. But bearing all of it is the really hard part in this process.

Real life situations most of us face :

There are many circumstances which come up in this context. They may be related to the very core of your life like family, friends etc or your life in general like day to day issues in work life, new interactions etc.

Demise of someone very close : I don't know how many of you have been through this but it is really choking and I really wish it never happens to you. When ever their name comes up, its like you can't breathe and it's a void which can be filled anyways.
A friend's betrayal : It is sometimes the case that your homie whom you rely on ditches you when and where you least expected it. It feels like you have been stabbed right into your heart and it's a disturbing thing to happen to any of us.
Messing up in a team : It might have happened to you that you messed up working on a project when team was expecting from you. It could be a work project, team sport or pretty much any other group activity.
Being scolded for no reason : It was the case with me in my college 2 years ago. A teacher raged against me when I was not at fault. He hit me across the face too but due to moral obligations I just escaped the class. Being witness to such situations is really hard.
Unforeseen curse : These are the spoilers that attack your life unpredictably and push you out of mood. This pandemic being greatest examples of all the times. Many businesses have been destroyed and lives are being taken away by it mercilessly day by day. When life was more casual and less a tragedy this, there were conditions too like a big traffic jam in summer, natural calamities and what not which were really unforeseen but troublesome.
Rejections : Rejections at job interviews, promotion, in love, in friendship, in pursuing your passion etcetera break us down to core and we keep on trying or bearing their side effects.
Guilt : How can we forget about guilt trips when we are talking of helplessness. Being guilty for fighting with your lover, scolding your sibling, going against parents will and many other types of big or small guilts cause constant pain and are really harsh and unavoidable.
Calamity : When a disease, natural disaster, modernization etc takes place and erodes a large area especially native to you, it's a big pain and I have known people who are migrants from place now submerged in water due to dam construction and it's a big heartbreak for them whenever their place comes up.
Self esteem : You are the one who value yourself more than anyone and sometimes when you can't even stand up to you, it's hard to muster self esteem again. When you don't come up to your expectations in various fields of life, its such a acute pain which hurts like hell.

Some of my escape routes :

Losing someone close is a loss which can't be made up for but whenever I think of my loss, I associate my achievements with her and how she is with me supporting me in various walks of life. I keep her principles alive in me and try to implement them much as I can so as to have a feel of having them around. I also dedicate my small things to them. Of course I shed tears automatically when her name comes up and it feels so light always.
Messing in a team? Believe me, it has happened to me both in sports and project work. But as you all know, having good people and teammates always helps us out. It pesters me a lot till there is a next time and I try to take it out by trying and giving my best at the next opportunity I get. Also, humans make mistakes and it's a big deal sometimes too but your efforts make up for them later on and the bad memory fades away and gets replaced by good ones.
Guilt trips are really bad. I don't have much of a solution to propose for them. Time heals it in my case and also, when I feel like approaching the one who is suffering because of me, I tend to apologize thoroughly.
Rejections sure do hurt but trying hard is this life's rule. Situation like job rejections can be handled through active participation in skill upgradation and change of approach. Also, professional environments like LinkedIn and other platforms are there to help. As for love, wait it out buddy, you aren't the one who is going through this and believe me, you deserve someone better.
For me, read.cash has also become a platform of expression and it helps me out to calm down and pursue my passion by jotting things down over here. Like this, have things you love to work on by your side and try to channelize your torment pursuing them.