She's not your responsibility to handle

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2 years ago


Good morning dear read cashers or should I say, readsters, I hope you had a wonderful night, I have been awake for hours now, maybe its because I have been sleeping earlier since the beginning of the year and I have exhausted my sleeping bundles, haha, I hope to get a refill soon though, so I can start sleeping at my normal time of sleeping, which was usually 3hours at night, 4 am to 7 am, I kind of use to it and I can't imagine myself stopping it soon. 

Yesterday while I was busy minding my business, a notification entered my phone and it was from a telegram channel I sometimes visit, the guy posted this picture and asked for advice on it.

This was what was written on it

I am in a relationship with this mechanic and we have a son together, he paid for my varsity fees and currently I work as an accountant, don't get me wrong, I love my man but I think the level has to change. I thank him for paying for my education but things have changed, he's always dirty and smelling of oil or petrol, I tried to ignore it but can't anymore, a few weeks ago met a lawyer guy and we exchanged contacts, we met three times after that and he makes me happy, his fashion sense, education, intellectual capacity all match mine, we are compatible, the thought of leaving the dirty mechanic has been playing my mind since I met the lawyer, am I a bad person? 

Image source

Then a dropped a short comment on my perspective  

To cut the answer short. 

Training a girl you want to marry in school is like playing arsenal to carry champions league. Thank you

There's a saying that goes like this, train a man you have trained a leader, train a woman, you have trained a nation, this saying only applies to the parents of the girl, not you as her boyfriend, sponsoring a girl you love in school is a very risky investment, there's no guarantee of returns and you can end up regretting it, I know there's this urge in you that tells you is for the betterment of both of you, if she’s through with school, she can live her dream life when both of you can later get married and that’s where you get it all wrong. 

Image source

University is a whole different life and it changes people from how they used to be, you can know her as an open-minded person that usually tells you everything but suddenly she began to change and started making calls and laughing over the phone with another guy while talking about class, maybe you might pay deaf ears to it because you trust her that she won't cheat on you, which might be good but precautions are always better than cure, why to put yourself in such situations for a girl that you haven't gotten married to if she tells you that she wants to be through with school before she gets married, fine, but don't sponsor her in school, that's why she has parents, she's not your responsibility, not until you get married to her. 

Even if she fornicates with you, that doesn't give her the right to the money you worked for, she's just a friend like any other friend and you shouldn't take such a risky investment, it will only be a rug pull when she finds someone better, a few days ago a popular blogger/entertainer as he likes to be called “Tunde Ednut” narrated a story of a guy that opened a shop for his girlfriend and a customer came to marry her and took her to Canada, the story sound funny right, but it was real, I remember last month when a female friend of mine was talking about all guys want is to fornicate and take you to the club, why can't they open business for you to earning money and also support him, I was like wow wow, she got a point there and I even called it a sure investment, haha, the only sure investment is the one you invested in yourself, the rest can get a rug pull at any time any moment. 

Conclusion 

I said what I said and life is a movie that the girl will lift the guy after school and start talking good about how he trained her in school or open a business for her and blah blah blah, this is the real world and people see it as a giveaway when you train their daughter in school without marrying her first, it usually ends in tears and it is not always about the money spent on her education, but also the memories you both shared and the opportunity you let slide for her to get a good education, only for it to just slide away like a slippery floor, I read stories on how some men commit suicide afterward and it's not an easy memory to live with at all. There's the lady that ran mad sometime last year, though we don't know the full story behind it, some people said she was trained in the varsity by a gig and after she graduated, she told the guy that she's no longer interested in the relationship, so the guy went a witch doctor and make her mad, I not sure if it was what happened though, but if it is, then the parents have hand in it too, how can you allow someone else son to train your daughter when he's not married to her, even if he wants to do it for free, be sure of his intentions towards her.

Thanks for reading this article of mine, sorry I have to end it there, so I won't start writing off point, haha. 

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05/01/2021

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Comments

All these stories flying up and down have thought me lessons, I can't even imagine myself "semi-training" a girl in school(as in buying her food, books etc) not to talk of the real sponsorship (house rent, school fees)...it normally ends in tears. Even if you are doing it out of love and expect good to happen to you, yeah good will happen to you but not that girl marrying you 🤣. I know of a guy that was catering for a girl while she was schooling, their breakup sweet gan🤣🤣🤣

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2 years ago

😭 I can't imagined the kind of breakfast the guy eat. But maybe is froze eba and palm wine as soup 😂

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2 years ago

your posts are so reall insight of real world I have continued after about 10 days but before that I read that article in which u mentioned that the nigerian women are thinking man of their atm machine and nothing else

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2 years ago

I'm telling you. It's not easy for guys out here. Especially the Hustlers

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2 years ago