The love of a father

Father's love for the children is usually underrated compared to mother's love, maybe because they are not always available for their kids when growing up, so the children see the mother as the one who truly loves them, without realizing the sacrifice of the father.

As a man and soon-to-be father someday (when I eventually fined The One), I will be defending my gender and will also give you some points why you should understand your father for not showing much love as your mother does.

Let's know who is a father

In my definition, A father is a man that has decided and pledges to take responsibility for his children, be it financially, physically, mentally and etcetera, most people often think that being a father is simple, is just for you to get laid with a lady and when a child comes in, automatically you have become a father, If you have such mentality, you should start erasing it from your mindset because you will just bring an innocent child to this world to suffer.

Let me tell you a short story

Years back I watched a movie (I can't remember the title) is about who newly wedded couple, they were both working at different office, they have money to afford what they want and what they need, I don't think that they lack anything in the marriage, 3 years after marriage they had no children, people was suspecting that, maybe the wife is barren or the husband can't produce a child, people started talking and trying to find out what was happening so they can have a topic to gossip about, the gossips was spreading around their environment and the wife couldn't not hold it anymore, she tried talking to her husband about what she has been hearing, the husband told her to ignore them, following morning the mother in-law (mother of the man) arrived to the couple house and decided to stay for some few weeks, during her staying at the house, she called the couple one night and asked them in person, has them not given her a grandchild, the wife explained everything to the mother in-law that, the husband is not ready to have kids now and that they have been using promotion ever since they got married, the mother asked her son (the husband) why don't he want a child now, the son (the husband) said that he's not yet ready to handle the responsibility of a child now. (I end the story here).

I was wondering and I still didn't understand what he met by that word "I'm not yet ready to handle the responsibility of a child" This man has a company of his own and his wife also have a high-paying job, what responsibility are you talking about sir. Now I understand what the man meant by that word, when the man said "responsibility" he didn't mean financial responsibility, he meant being able to be there for the children and always show them that daddy loves you.

There are two types of fathers (if you are lucky enough you can find both of them in one)

• The loving and always available fathers are usually the ones that are 100% for their kids and mostly loved by the kids more than they love their mom, they are not financially able to provide all the needs of the kids but their presents alone can go along way for kids because they are always at the kids' graduations, they are always there when the school calls for PTA meeting (Parents Teacher Association), the kids are more open to them than their mothers and etcetera.

• The rich and not available fathers are usually absent when it comes to the kids activities, school graduations, PTA meeting and etcetera, the kids often feel like the father don't like them, no matter the amount of toys or gifts they get from their father on birthdays or Christmas, they still feel like there's something missing, when they see other kids and their fathers playing and enjoying happy moments together, they often feel sad (I won't use the word depressed) most times they ask their mother why daddy doesn't like them, the mother will now start pampering them and letting them know that, the father is working for them to have a better future, when these set of kids become teens, they won't feel like they want the present of their father anymore and they always love their mother very much, the father might start getting close to his children but most of the kids always feel like, since the last wasn't available when he was growing, he should stay far away for him now too, these often result to a fight between the father and the child.

If you are lucky enough, you will get both fathers in one, but if your father isn't doing any of these, just know he is not your father, he is just a sperm donor.

The second example that I gave, is the most reasonable people often love their mother more than the way they love their father, the father might try to let the child understand that, he has to hustle more to keep food on the table and also for them not to be thrown out in the streets, the kids might not understand because they will think that he's just saying it as an excuse, but as the kids grow up, they will start to understand why the father was not always available on their birthdays, graduations and etcetera.

Closing conclusion

Fathers do sacrifice a lot for their kids too, fathers also want to be able to talk to their children one on one, fathers also want to attend the birthdays or graduations of the children too, but if they are always available for the kids, who will sort the bills if the minds of can be opened and seen by all, maybe the kids will see that fathers are trying their best to show love in ways that they can still be able to provide their needs at the same time, it's never going to be easy to handle both equally, one has to be given more attention than the other, for it to balance.

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