Dealing With Insecurities

Insecurity can be termed as anxiety or the lack of confidence in oneself or in one's abilities, mainly because the individual sees all the flaws he /she possesses more than the good parts of them.

Most times, it's results from when such individual is often compared with other people who seem "perfect" or when they think other people around them seem perfect - perfect marriages, perfect bodies, perfect skin and they lead perfect lives in general; meanwhile there's no such thing as a perfect life.

From my close observation as a female, and from the observations of others, I have come to the conclusion that we the females have this problem more than the males.

We often worry if we have the perfect bodies, perfect hair, perfect skin, if we look beautiful enough or if we're the perfect weight and height, and all whatnot.

Sometimes as females, we feel we look good enough and might even feel comfortable with how we look, but then if we constantly keep hearing things like "you don't look good", or "you're fat" or "you're too dark skinned/too short/too tall" etc, these words would begin to stick and we might be forced to conform to having society's standards of the perfect body or being the perfect woman that society wants us to be if we want to be accepted.

This has made a lot of people to "lose themselves", in the sense that they leave who they really are and conform to other people's standards just to be accepted and not be termed as "archaic" or "old fashioned".

Speaking generally, we all have insecurities. We all have one thing or the other that gets us anxious or not so confident about ourselves; be it our physical bodies in general or a certain part of it like I have talked about previously; family background, financial status, even academic status among so many others.

Even though when people talk about insecurities they often refer to their bodies, but personally I feel insecurities are deeper than that. It encompasses a lot of things.

How Does One Deal With One's Insecurities While In A Relationship?

The main solution here is talking about it with your partner.

Like the old saying goes, a problem shared is a problem half solved.

Communication is key in every type of relationship we build with people,and should be even more so in love relationships.

Telling your partner about how you feel would help you relieve your problems, but that is if the partner involved is understanding and not judgmental because does more harm than good to the insecure spouse.

Judging your partner's body when you're supposed to make them feel good about it wouldn't do much to soothe your partner or make them feel good.

While love should go beyond just physical appearance no doubt, I understand the fact that sometimes, our partner might not be exactly how we want them to be, they might not exactly fit the image of the ideal man/woman that we have in our heads and I'm speaking in terms of body wise and general physical appearance.

Instead of talking them down or body shaming them, you could gently give a suggestion and see how well they accept it.

For example, if your partner is plus sized, you could gently suggest to him/her saying "how about WE (You both should do it together, trust me it'll be much more fun for you both) the gym and lose a few pounds? I love your body no doubt, but I feel we'd look and feel healthier if we shed a few pounds".

How Can One Cope With An Insecurity?

Insecurity is not an illness. It is something one can actually deal with and overcome.

Boosting your self esteem, being self confident and encouraging yourself.

Believing that you can goes a long way in overcoming those little fears.

I hope you enjoyed this article?

Ciao ❤️