The most important element to have peace and harmony within the family is understanding each other. It doesn't matter if you are older and you have more right to rule the family. It doesn't mean that you can always be right just because you are older from everyone. It doesn't always works that way. If we ignore the details to understand one another and just let our ego rule within us, it would be always a chaotic family.

Do you ever wonder why there is a rebel inside the family?

It's because no one tried to understand their sides, sentiments, and what do they feel towards the issue. Perhaps, they are heard but misinterpreted or being judged impartially. They can't be free to express themselves, do what they want, pursue their passions, follow their real dreams, or state their opinions because they would be oppressed by the members of the family who are against of what they want. It is supposed to be their home and their refuge but if it is like that, it feels like a cage which they can never have freedom.

By time when all the disappointment were gathered, hatred are piled up, and anger becomes stronger, the rebellion starts to find its way in to our minds which pushed us to bravely talked back with the elders, argue with them, quarrel with them, or the worse case scenario is to run away from home. I felt that and I can relate in every way.

Our father is the best example of pride, ego, and restrictions.

There wouldn't be a day that he wouldn't boast all that he did. Then, he would drink everyday to celebrate it. He would every people around him without fail. He thinks that he is smarter, the most industrious, the most responsible, and the perfect husband and a father. Yet, boasting is just boasting, none of it are true. He is the opposite of them all.

The worst part about him is that he would count people's contribution. He would always take it blindly and will always see the worst in us. He would tell us that we haven't done anything even if we did all the work and there he is just drinking all day. He would always find a way to find faults in us and hurt our feelings in every word that he would utter. Thus, all those years, he never fails to anger all the people around him and hate him in every way.

Yesterday, my cousin called me to let me know that my father and his father (my uncle) had a fight. My father is counting the contribution of my uncle in building my sister's house. It's a thing in province where Bayanihan resides with us. My uncle defended himself that he has a lot of work also on his end that's why he can't help but my father was like a deaf and act liked he didn't heard my uncle's reason. Then, he even swear in front of them and called my uncle a fool. That's when a fight broke within them, resulting to punching one another.

Families are supposed to be allies, but what's happening?

We should be helping one another but if the other party have their own priorities, we should respect them. As I said earlier, it doesn't mean that you are older, you are right and to he followed all the time. My father is the eldest among his siblings; that's why he always thinks that he should and must be followed all the time. Just because he is older and have a lot of experience in life than the others, he thinks highly of himself to think that his judgment is always right.

It shouldn't be that way. Since we are families, we are supposed to be understanding each other to maintain the peace and harmony within the family. If peace and harmony resides, then love can grow and the bond will also become stronger. It would be nice if it's like that. However, as the saying goes, "It's hard to straighten the stem of the tree when it is already old and the foundation is already hard." Most of the old people are often like that. Their ways can't be change already when it is the one that they got used to while they are growing up.

I can only hope and pray for our father to change. Thanks for reading!

• The lead image was edited in Canva.

• The photos included were mine unless specified.

All rights reserved

©Ching

I appreciate seeing you in my sponsor's block.