A mother story
The day that I learned that there was already a life planted on my womb was such a great feelings.It as a mix emotions ,I am so happy ,excited and feeling blessed but in the other side ,I had a lot of what if's in my mind.
And there my anxiety was started ,the feeling of being alone ,feels that the people who sorround me suddenly gone.I wanted to talked to someone but it seems that I can't see them.I had that feelings inside a four corners room with no lights.
And then I realize that I need to be brave and be strong for the little life in my womb.And there I saw a light and it made me to choose the good path way for me and for baby.
I enjoyed every moment I felt the heartbeat and kicks inside my womb but I can't control the feelings of having many doubts in my life.
I can be a good mother to him/her?I can give him/her a good life?That thoughts always in my mind.I don't want that this little life in my womb will experience what the life I've been through.I am not so sure if I can protect him/her with the reality we had in this world.
But one thing I keep holding on is my prayer to God ,praying for his guidance for me to raise my baby well,praying a strenght to face in every battle I had.
After nine months of carrying him ,finally I can hear sis angelic voice ,his soft voice cries.Finally can touch his tiny hands.I thought it could be the end of my anxiety but I was wrong .My baby boy no is out and can witness how wonderful the world is but there are some realities we had and I will do all my best to protect him .
Many sleepless nights ,lack of rest I even forgot that my self needed care.Suddenly I tried to look at my self at the mirror and realize that I was having a big changes on me ,not only for the physical appearance but my perpective in life was change.
I need to set aside my wants and needed to prioritize my baby's needs.While looking at the mirror ,this huge changes I had is all worth it everytime I saw my baby with a smiling faces.
I may look different from before but it made me a great mom to my baby.His laughter ,his smiles became my strenght.
It was not easy raising a baby but I will do the best to give him the better life I am wishing for.
Every development he had was such a great treasure for me,from his first cries ,first smiles ,first laugh,first tooth first talk and walk until he can stand alone on his own.
A lot of times I am crying for no reasons,I don't know whats happening on me ,all I know and put in my mind that I am a doing all my best to be a good mom.
But I make sure that I always there for him ,being a mother is a life time Job ,theres no retirement of it.I am forever his mother.
I always prayed to God for keeping him safe as always and keep praying a guidance and raise him well until he had his own family .Raising him well makes him a better man and soon for sure he will be a better parent for his future family.