07|30|2021✨
We're not a broken family but it feels like we are now.
I am working away from home to support my family alone.
I used to be so excited to go home to visit them during my day-off but now I don't feel like going home anymore. But, don't get me wrong. I love my family. I do.
My family is my strength and my weakness. They're one of the reason why I am not quitting even in my hardest times. They are my motivation to get up early in the morning and do my job because if I won't, we're all gonna suffer. I will do everything for them. I will always prioritize their needs and wants than mine. That's how much I love them. I am doing my best in everything just to make them happy and proud.
I was often compared to my classmates and peers before. I honestly hate being compared to someone. My Nanay would always say 'mabuti pa anak ni ano' kesyo daw ganto, ganyan. Everytime I heard those litanya, I would always tell myself "it's okay baka kasi ampon ka lang kaya ganyan or maybe mas gusto nya siguro maging anak yun keysa sa iyo". I never hated my Nanay. I just hated myself. Like, what am I supposed to do to make her proud of me. Why compare me to someone else?
Worst thing is being compared to your older siblings. I could say that my Nanay's favorite is my Kuya. As in all-time favorite alagaan, basta LAHAT LAHAT. Mas uunahin pa nyang asikasuhin ang kuya keysa sa akin, so sad. Hirap pag middle child uy! Juskopoo.
No days would passed by without me getting scolded in every little mistake I did.Maybe someone out there could relate. I just remembered that there's this 1 day that I didn't hear any litanya from her "wow himala". It was like a great achievement of my life. Lol.
Going back to the main topic of the day haha, I graduated. She was so proud. Another achievement unlocked. Oh diba ? She even told me before that I couldn't do it but look at me now. chourrr !
After graduation, I immediately seek for a job. Luckily I got hired into this company I am currently working now. I got in together with my bestfriend Glyness. I really have a great time working not until...last month.
Last month, my Tatay visited us. He's staying by the way in Mindanao and my family is here, in Cebu. My parents are okay as far I know not until the day that I got a chance to talk to my Tatay after my work. It broke my heart hearing his shaky voice and bursting into tears. Right that moment, I know there's something bad happening at home.
My parents we're fighting because of my magaling na brother, myghadddd. And as you know, my Nanay would always take my brother's side. They're fighting over my alcoholic kuya. I heard from my ate that my kuya had gone wild, he took drugs again and I know how bad it would turned out. They became the highlight of our barangay that day. My sister told me that he hit my Tatay "tinadyakan nya po Tatay ko at binato ng semento". I cried out so loud. If only I could do something that day. If ever I could, I know my Nanay wouldn't allow it to happen. I was so stressed. My Tatay asked me if I can send him money to go back to Mindanao. I feel bad for him. He was treated badly like a stranger in our family.
They're supposed to have fun and have a good time since Tatay is home yet it turned into war. That day onwards I no longer feel like talking to my brother. I no longer contacted them but I still send them money for their needs as always. I couldn't believe that I'm gonna experience all of these. Help me God. I sent my Tatay back to Mindanao and bought a gift for him and a little surprise for Father's day. I hugged him so tight and said " I love you, tay. Mag amping . Love tika. Tawag rako unya". I love my Tatay so much.
I know every family has its problems. But I admire those who stick together.
I couldn't finish this. I'm about to cry again. 💔 Allow me to end it here.
Thank you so much for reading, buds ! Have an awesome day!
Source: https://brokenfamilysite.wordpress.com/2016/03/20/definition-of-a-broken-family/amp/
You got it Ate! Whatever may happen they are still your family. I am hoping and pray that things will get better for your family. I can feel you at so many levels. I just got my first employment months ago. I cannot imagine how hard you are handling all of that things happening within your circle. But I know, God is working for your familys healing. Aja!