Don't forget to please yourself

People will always see you the way you see yourself. People will respect you in accordance to how you respect your respect. I know the topic of my article is quite a very popular topic that we all are very much familiar with. @Olasquare have talked about it extensively in one of his writeup. @Eylz2021 also emphasized on this in a very recent article of hers.

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Well, I would also like to give a piece of my mind on this topic based on a recent occurrence I heard a few days ago.

Its quite sad that a lot of people have subconsciously programmed their lives to what people would think and say about every step they take and every thing they say. There comes a time when one just have to drop the "people pleaser" label if it doesnt benefit one and wouldn't benefit one in the long run and assume a more assertive approach that would propel one to further towards his personal goals.

Of course generosity and altruism is what makes us humans and we all should strive to positively try to touch the lives of other around us.

Truth is, one can never assist the people around him as much as one would like if one have not fulfilled the duty and obligations one owes himself.

Earlier in the day, i was discussing with an old classmate of mine on social media. The young man had plans of leaving the country to a neighboring African country in search of greener pastures but he was finding it difficult to make up his mind.

He was actually in a dilemma, as the first son, he was afraid to leave his younger siblings back in our country all by themselves. By the way, I know his siblings very well too, and believe me, they are not that young and tender as you would think.

"Why don't you teach your younger brothers how to grind too, then go chase your dreams". I said to him. There are some" once in a life time" opportunity that when missed can never be gotten again for the rest of your live .

But family will always be there for you. Even though you are gone for thirty years, when you have made enough money, you can always come back to help them and they wouldn't deny you. Family will always be family, but an opportunity lost may never come back.

But unfortunately ,this young man had already gotten used to shouldering the family's responsibilities alone, and he was afraid to take a step to better his own life and future. It was not as if he had a lucrative job already, hewas only a private school teacher.

Psycologically speaking,When one always try to please everyone, their minds would be conditioned in believing that that it is your duty to always be subservient towards them. And anytime you default albeit unintentionally, you would be greeted with alot hostility and all your previous greater generosity would be quickly forgotten. Its Human nature, you know. Such was the dilemma of this young man and I felt sorry for him.

Sometimes, one might think that his friend, sibling, spouse, child, parent or colleague can't do without him and this is totally false. one might go the extra mile, displease one self so that others would be pleased with him . one could even cause oneself great discomfort so that others could get ahead while one remain at a spot.

By the time one finally decide to take a step after everyone have been settled, one might be surprised that those that leveraged on his generosity to get ahead might not be as eager to hold a ladder up for one to climb also. Especially when giving one a hand might cause them some discomfort.

Others might outrightly deny or betray one. We have all heard heart-rending stories where a friend or brother sacrificed all for the other person who would later pay him back with treachery and arrogance.

CLOSING THOUGHTS.

Never think of yourself indispensable to others. If you are not there to help, someone else will. Death might even come to you at anytime and you'd be surprised if God showed you how well the persons you left behind are getting along just fine in your absence. You'd be forgotten in a short while.

"You deserve your own love and attention more than anyone else".

*******************************Yours lovely

Bilqees

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