Never again depend on someone or something, only on yourself

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1 year ago

Has it ever happened to you that you find it hard to let go of someone or something, either in love or socially? If so, it means that you are going through a state of emotional dependence, but... How can that be possible? Don't worry, in this article we will deeply analyze this issue and there will be some recommendations that will surely help you and clarify those doubts.


What is emotional dependence?

It is determined as a psychological state that opens up personal relationships, such as family, love or friendship. In many occasions it affects many people, but they are not always aware of it. In a few words, emotional dependence is the need for other people to assume the responsibilities of their life, going through a constant fear of separation from people, difficulties to make their own decisions or even to express disagreement with other people, for fear of losing support and approval.

People who go through a state of dependency, feel the insatiable need to be with that person, so much so, that they are unable to cut the ties that bind them. It is very common that they do not think about their needs, nor about themselves, that they annul themselves in favor of their partner, family or friends, being very sensitive to the approval of their actions by these people.

People who usually suffer from dependency are those who suffer from low self-esteem, many insecurities and lack of self-confidence. They refuse to accept it when someone close to them warns them.

Those people may present symptoms such as:

  • Low self-esteem or contempt

  • They cannot stand to be alone, when they are physically or emotionally distanced from their partner they present symptoms of stress or intense anxiety.

  • They do not leave a relationship if they are not happy, for fear of being alone.

  • They tend to suffer from depression or anxiety.

  • They do not assume their responsibilities

  • They find it difficult to make decisions on their own.

  • They tend to feel inferior to others and feel that they are not good enough at something, for someone or for life.

  • Lack confidence in their own judgment and abilities.

PsicologĂ­a y bienestar

Personally, you are an important person, valuable and capable of achieving many things, but only you can close the cycle with these insecurities, fears or lack of trust. Sincerely I have also gone through this, clearly it is a bottomless pit and if you do not want to sink deeper, you have to face reality, say ``Hey no, I deserve better relationships of friendship, love or cut relationships with family members that only bring toxicity to my life. I can no longer depend on those relationships, I only depend on myself, if I do not love myself, no one will do it for me'' and it is true, first ourselves and then others, but always with empathy.

What I mean by this is that your capabilities are infinite, you can achieve many things, being yourself is great, you do not have to fit in a place that you know perfectly well that you do not belong with people that you know very well that they are not the right ones to surround yourself with. Yes, it is difficult to let go, but it is not impossible and with time you will achieve it, and if you need help to do it, go ahead and get it, I support you, I trust you and I am proud of you, wonderful person.

Finally, I will leave you some recommendations that can surely help you to overcome emotional dependence or avoid it:

1. Learn to be assertive and start saying NO.

Being assertive means that you express yourself freely, that you let go and say what you think, but of course, always respecting the other person with whom you are interacting, that is, express yourself, but in a correct and polite way.

2. Start working on your self-esteem

Self-esteem is that step to move forward and heal part of our emotional health.

3. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone.

Sometimes the fear of the unknown does not make you move forward and this makes you stay there, stagnant, surrounded by toxic people, being unable to eliminate what makes you suffer.

4. Say ``Goodbye'' to the past

As I mentioned before, sometimes it is time to let go, learn from it and move on, accept your past and say goodbye, move on, making the decisions that you think are right for you. This part is very difficult, but believe me, it will be very good for your emotional growth and self-esteem.

5. Seek professional help

It's okay if you feel you can do it alone, but if you feel you need help from someone else, do it, seek it, help is never too much, I think it would be great, it would help you a lot in moving forward.

6. Learn to love and love yourself

There is a phrase that says that when you learn to love and value yourself, you find a better quality of life and better relationships of any kind, completely healthy. You are right, if you don't love yourself, what do you expect from others towards you? Yes, there may be people who love you and show it, but sometimes there are others who only judge you and minimize your problems, they are the ones you should stay away from. Learn to love yourself first before you love someone else.

7. Learn to be alone with yourself

The human being by nature is a sociable being, and although we love to be in groups or couples, it is also essential to learn to enjoy solitude, to enjoy ourselves. In the same way, when we learn to enjoy being alone, we will achieve healthier relationships.

Only you are capable of achieving it, put it on and move forward, be you!

I hope you liked this topic and I hope you found it helpful, your mental health is important, therefore, you have to give it the same importance as your physical health!

Tell me, what did you think and your opinion about it?

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1 year ago


Thanks to this, to tell you the truth i just had a break up with my bf, and i see myself one of those emotional dependence, but thanks later I will learn this few things to recover myself

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1 year ago

Everything is a process and takes time, when you are ready, do it, all for your well being always. In any case if you need a support, you have mine and wanting to recover is very good, great step, proud of you. Cheer up, I'm glad you found this article helpful.

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1 year ago