I didn't move, neither did I hear the sound of whip splash against my already battered body. I watched in awe as my blood splattered beautifully on the already blood stained walls then I smiled deeply because it has become my addiction. Acquired from my thoughts.

Many of us have different memories, some which we hold dearly, others which we are glad happened the way they did and the rest which we wished we are never part of. Before I go deeply into today's article let's see what Abuse and Addiction is all about in my own understanding.

Abuse is the inappropriate dealing of people or things by another set of people which result in distress.

Addiction in the other hand is the stage of being devoted or having a habit that damages or shorten one's life which results to trauma.

What causes Abuse?

There are many factors that aids abuse. Below are some of the factors.

Family.

The kind of family we come from determines our state of abuse. Some are abused by their uncle's or Aunty's sexually when their parents aren't there. While in some cases, the father is the abuser in the sense that he might abuse his child sexually or physically like in some cases a father beating a child to a pulp everytime he/she does something that needs to be corrected verbally, mostly because that's how he was trained by his parents, or a stage where the father beats the mother and let the child watch. Also there are cases on a mother abusing her own child sexually. Have heard cases where some mother's who commit these atrocities are been interviewed. You'll hear them say they are in love with their child or some other sick and outrageous response.

Friends.

We all know bad friends corrupt good manners. In situations where you follow friends who finds fun or ectasy in raping or taking hard drugs. You'll one day, want to feel among or maybe you just want to have the taste of it. Surely you won't feel well at your first trial but immediately you try it out, your friends won't let you go easily as they'll persuade you to try it again and again until you get good at it, or situations where you have friends that are never contended with what they have and so they abuse their bodies in promiscuity. They may have luck in protecting themselves or having abortion successfully. You one day, see how they flaunt their ' ill gotten wealth' in your face and you might be pushed to do the same which may result to death after countless abortions.

Educational Facilities.

We've all gone through basic class, high school, college and Universities. During our days in school. Many of us have seen cases or being the subjects of these cases where some so called ' Teachers or Lecturers ' have molest us or people close to us in many unhealthy ways. In situations where the teacher would have sexual intercourse with her student or lecturers threatening students on extra years if they refuse to make out with them. In these situations students are left with no choice but to oblige unless you have a strong hand backing you up. These cases have been heard in many countries, especially African countries.

Society.

Some of us have lived in an unhealthy environment. Where insecurities and bombing are always present. There's a friend of mine who came to sleep over at my place because armed robbers visited her. When she came over she couldn't sleep so I had to play with her and make her feel safe. She was lured into sleep afterwards but she'd wake up at any sound, either from a running tap or from opening a door. This went on for days until I found that she had trauma. I pleaded with her to tell me more on what happened of which she did and right there, I found a way to pacify her but I couldn't help much with the trauma. So I made sure she met with the right people.

Work.

Some of us have being unfortunate to come in contact with bosses who throw sexual advances to us. Many have fallen prey to this and can't stop themselves from having sexual intercourse with their bosses. This sometimes tell on the bosses family when the boss discard the old person for a new person. Some will go to the extent of threatening the boss's family when he refuse to give them attention anymore because they have gotten addicted to the ways they are being treated by him.

How does Abuse and Addiction tally ?

Addiction and abuse work side by side with themselves. The moment you are being abused and it not been stopped at the early stage, sets in addiction. In a situation where you find happiness in pain and it not been stopped you'll get addicted to it. Like in the movie Fifty shades we can see how Christian Grey was addicted to BDSM (Bondage and Discipline; using physical restrain) , (Domination and Submission; power) ,(Sadism and Masochism; pleasure in pain) and he didn't find any fault in it not until the arrival of Anastasia Steele who made him see that he was abused and now gotten addicted to it.

How do I stop being addicted?

First you have to clear your mind from the ectasy of what the abuse brings.

Secondly try staying away from whoever or whatever caused the abuse.

Thirdly try staying seconds without it, then move to minutes, then hours, then day, then week, then month, then years...and don't get depressed or useless if you go back to it after weeks of staying off, instead just continue trying again and again. Also meet up with a therapist or go out and find fun in other unrelated things. I know this is hard and may be unrealistic but it is worth a trial.

Is it only people that can abuse us?

No. Just like I mentioned earlier, we can get abuse by the intake of drugs, social media, even food and movies. I know of some people who would rather starve than stay offline for seconds. Also they are people who will miss their interview because they couldn't stay off the screen and when they realize they missed another interview sets in depression.

How can I help an abused person.

You need to have it at the back of your mind that these people sometimes will do things that might set us off but in regardless of what they do, show them love. Love is a beautiful act that can set even a deep addicted person free. Also give them space and don't push them too forward and follow at their place. Don't venture into actions or words that might trigger their painful memories or past. Continue loving them and lifting up their spirits when they feel down. Don't interrupt them when they are telling you stories of their past. Instead listen attentively and pick up necessary points to help them out next time. Hug them and don't judge their actions. Don't forget to also get them in help when needed.

There's a wild imagination of mine on abuse and addiction just like it as been stated earlier, it is the unquenchable pain this little petite girl had gone through in the hands of those that are to keep her safe. Day in day out, she got used to this pain until it became part of her. She'd love the sound of whip as it lands on her body, she'd watch in great awe how the whip moved in a dance sync till it lands on her. And then she'd embrace the pain that comes with it like she needed it to be alive. She loved it most when she finds some little toys she can hurt herself with or how she's been dragged under water with no source of energy. She embraces the darkness like it belongs to her very being and won't stop or hurt those that inflict these pains on her because she had found solace in them.

Also some verbal words are abusive and can mess with the mental health as some of us are fragile and can't bare harsh words thrown to us. So please be nice in your words towards people. Apart from that, there are people known to abuse animals. If you meet up with this kind of people please report them.

Always remember to call for help even when threatened on anyone or things that got you abused. Don't give up on yourself and your happy thoughts for as long as there's hope, there's a beautiful life ahead.

Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Photo source: Unsplash

Writer: Balikis

Date: 22 January 2022.