Worst Valentines Day of My life

If you happened to read this, don't skip every bit of my words, because this is a true to life painful love story of mine. I am five years single and my previous relationship gave me so much depression and trauma of getting involved with another man. Let's just say that, he cheated on me right before my eyes.

Cheating is a well-known life changer of every human being who gave their all just to save their relationship, and we should not normalize it. IT'S A CHOICE AND NOT BY ACCIDENT.

The pain was still there, and everytime I remembered such nerve-wracking moment, I just close my eyes and took a deep breath. I honestly forgive him yet forgetting is difficult than I thought.

He told me that "LOVE IS NOT ENOUGH TO STAY". Well, I can't blame him because I am a conservative woman who don't want to engage myself from premarital s*x and maybe he was tired of waiting and ran out of patience the reason why he committed a malicious and immoral act. I thought that he fully understand me yet I was wrong.

I gave him my whole trust that he wont commit such act to me, yet watching them doing such immorality right before my eyes was heartbreaking and extremely painful. What a shameful beings.

It was during valentines day five years ago when I suddenly felt lonely knowing that my boyfriend was not able to greet me a happy valentines day nor visit me in our house that he usually does. I already had a bad feeling on that time, so I decided to visit him in his apartment which is just a 15 minutes ride from our home. When I arrived, I saw a girl's doll shoes in his door and didn't react at all because I have faith in him that he wont cheat on me and I thought that her sister is just visiting him yet again I was wrong. I was about to open the door when I heard a moaning voice behind close door. I was shaking and got chills all over my body and immediately open the door with all my strength and I was shocked on what I have seen.

I saw my boyfriend doing an intimate s*xual intercourse with my cousin. My tears fell apart witnessing them doing such a horrible thing infront of me. "We're Done!" Those are the words I mumbled with a shivering voice.

I ran as fast as I could with a heavy heart. I head home with an anxious face and my mother asked me on what was wrong, and I just cried out loud. I cried all night without a wink of sleep. My boyfriend came the day after but I just stare at him in the window as if I didn't hear a thing. After that, I went to my room and cried again. It took me five months to finally heal. I loss 10 pounds on that time because I got no appetite thinking about what happened. My cousin kneeled down before me and apologized. However, my heart went hard and ignored her. I was full of hatred and hurtful and I want to curse the both of them. Because of what they did, my life became miserable. I don't deserve it.

Well, when I try to imagine it again I have no hurtful feelings now and I forgave them. But forgetting the past is way to impossible. However, I will let the time itself heal me and of course God was always been there to lift me up when I badly want to give up.

This is just a short scenarios of my story, because I don't want to recap the past anymore, and I should bury it along with my hatred and pain.

Lead image is from unsplash.com