Blog #386

October 17, 2022

Living for more than 20 years and facing so many life's hardships and struggles made me realize so many things about life. So many things that made me open to reality that life is not what I think it is when I was on my younger years.

Though I had a tough childhood years, by that time, I wasn't still aware what reality is because I was still very innocent to know what was happening around. What I had in mind those time was just to eat, sleep, play and have fun with my neighbors and siblings, studying and lastly helping my grandma in the farm during weekends. My childhood life simply revolved on those activities. I wasn't thinking of many problems unlike now that I become an adult and is getting matured day by day.

But before reaching to this point, I was once a lady who thought life is easy as long as I had money to spend with food and other essentials. But later on, I came to realize that life isn't only about those. Deciding so many things and facing problems and finding solutions to those were then one of the struggles an adult like me had to face because in one mistake that we do, things will then become complicated.

When I get pregnant at the age of 17, I felt like my whole world was crashing. I felt the disgusting and disappointing look of those people who surrounded me. Gossips and harsh words got me affected so badly. I was thinking to end that problem I was facing by ending my life. I had thinking that way not just once but many times during my first months of pregnancy. While I was in a terrace, my eyes become blurry as I watched the waves splashing at the shore. Staring for so many times in that vast sea in front of me, somehow calmed me.

I then realized that in every mistake that we did, we can't solve it by making another mistake. Inorder to keep moving forward, I must face it. People may say something, then let them be as long as I didn't asked any penny from them just to provide for my needs. Having my family who backed me up in situation like that is enough for me. Though I disappointed them, but I know they will always be there for me when I needed them the most.

Life is hard but it's we who make it complicated because instead of thinking of a solution on how the problem will be solved, we sometimes think of running away from it and sometimes we think of something that we think a solution to it but it was exactly the opposite that could worsen the situation.

Life is hard but it's we who make it more complicated because instead of facing our own life, we let ourselves be affected with those words that we heard from others.

With those two mentioned, I was guilty for it. Thinking of getting rid of my life just to end the situation I was into and letting the words from the people around me who did nothing but wanted to destroy myself just worsen my situation. I was emotionally and mentally affected that I can't think of a better solution to it. But when I faced the reality, it was when things get better day by day.

Closing Thoughts

Life is hard but it becomes better when we face it with a brave heart and mind. Instead of running away from our problems, let's face it and think of better solutions.

This will be for my short blog today. Thank you for reading!

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