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A white page is urging me to write but I'm somehow reluctant because I can hear voices in my head squabbling about this idea. Their arguments are endless and it's getting louder that it turns out to be chaotic.
My eyes said, "I'm beat. Let me just shut off."
My fingers said, "Do it tomorrow. I'm tired."
My body said, "I'm exhausted. Get some sleep already."
Then my brain shouted, "Get back to work, idiots! You're just idling all day, how can you all be that worn out, huh?"
Out of nowhere, a line from the lyrics of the Twenty-one Pilots' song, Stressed-Out, played behind my consciousness. It keeps on playing and it says,
"Wake up. You need to make money."
With a flickering sound coming from the depths of my sluggish soul, my enthusiastic mind came back to life. My eyes flicker, my fingers are tapping, my body is mended, but my brain is perplexed.
"What to write? A short story, a blog, a reflection, a review, or just random things about me. Ooooh, that's right! Just random, simply random, random questions. Well, AGAIN."
Welp. It doesn't matter as long as it's not plagiarized, isn't it?
My favorite color is Black. Most of the people who saw me wearing all-black clothes told me that I was like going to the funeral or I'm mourning. I don't care about that and I still love it. In my perspective, I saw the color black as a formal color that symbolizes unity and equality. And, do you know that any color that you pair with black will stand out? It also looks cool in my eyes every time I see things in black that's why when I purchased clothes, accessories, and shoes, I will often choose those with black colors.
I think the biggest lesson that I have learned so far is to live my life with purpose. I'm a rebellious and depressed kid back then, so I didn't think seriously about what to do for a living. I'm instead thinking of a way to execute a painless death because I'm suicidal yet afraid of getting hurt. I have passed that phase now. Though I don't feel like living, there are still people who rely on my strengths, so I have to push myself to get moving and let go of those useless overthinking.
My blood will only boil and my nerves will only burst if somebody has used my things without my permission. Frankly speaking, I'm such a possessive type of person. "What mine is mine, so get lost and get yours." That's what I always think in terms of my properties. Unless I give it to you or allow you to use it, don't touch it.
Yes, there is. Such personalities as those "Dominant" ones, I really hate it because I don't want to be controlled and dominated. I feel like being caged if someone does that to me. I just like being free of what I want to do because I know what are my limits and what's my forbiddings. I don't like being bossed around that I can't have a choice to refuse or do my thing.
This book's title is "Unf**k Yourself: Get out of your head and into your life!". This tackles self-empowerment and self-improvement. This is the one who inspired me to get myself moving and create some achievements. It teaches me to let go of those negative thoughts and just focus on my goal. For anyone interested in reading this, I'll give you a free copy of its e-book if you have a Google Play Books app, because I don't know if the file can also be uploaded to other e-book platforms.Just download it here.
By the time that I publish this, it will probably be around 11 pm already. A beautiful evening to the beautiful people who are reading this, then. Thanks for checking this out. I'm having a bad headache right now, so I'm sorry for this random muttering of worthless things. If you ever wonder what's the title means, don't mind it. It just means, Of Nonsense & Nonsense.
The writer who is a regular customer of headaches is now signing off.
Lead image and closing image, both edited in Canva.