Knowing Thyself

Though we are starting to have a lot of activities, assignment, and reportings lately, that doesn't affect our schedule yet, and not that stressful enough. I can still do it in my vacant days, three days to be exact not including the weekends. The tasks given by the instructor also are mostly by groups since they understand how difficult it will be for us to do it individually because there are some who are working while studying. The schedule is flexible enough for us to balance my studies from side hustles. No excuse for sure not to do the assigned tasks.

In one of our classes last Tuesday, there's a certain subject for Philosophy, specifically Understanding The Self. The goal of this subject is to literally understand ourselves at the end of the semester by determining our strength and weaknesses, limitations, emotional stability, skills to improve, and boosting one's self-esteem. The subject wasn't that heavy to handle since the instructor said it herself that she wanted it to be a chill and enjoyable with the students to study. Considering that everyone has their own weight to carry upon their shoulders outside the school premises, it's just one of the ways that the instructors have thought of to maintain the student's mental health stability.

The instructor's way of teaching is light and fun which everybody can participate and enjoy. Even me who doesn't like participating in oral discussions have found myself actively answering the questions in front of the class. It is such a good thing as an exercise to build up the courage in speaking in public since that is one of my greatest weaknesses. Before the class ends, we were asked to write an essay related to what we have discussed and that was about ourselves. No right or wrong answers since we are the only one who knows ourselves better than anyone. Regarding that, we were asked to write pertaining, "Who Am I?".

It was easy to think about before we could start answering in the yellowpad but as I took the cap of my pen and made it ready to write, pointing its edge to the paper, I got lost in my thoughts. Who am I really? Taking out the roles that I have which is being a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and et cetera, who am I? It took me a minute or so just to ponder on that thought. At last, I let my fingers guide my pen to do the work in my paper.

As far as I could remember, this was how I wrote it.

I wasn't the type of girl to interact and will be actively participating in class discussions back then. While my classmates would fo their thing like having conversations with their closed friends, group studying, or just playing online games, I would be just silently sitting at the edge of the room keeping my peace and giving off the vibe that I don't to be disturbed by anyone.

It was me back then. In some way, as I got to experience things through time, I also got to learn some lessons in life. I started to realize how much I missed out when life got messy. I'm trying to fix it until now and still in the state of improving. I rebranded myself as the "Not your typical Farm Girl", as I grow up in farming but also a reminder for me that I can be something more than that.

I was once a frustrated writer who almost gave up because I can't take up Journalism or any course which is related to Literature. Somehow, I found a way to continue this dream and that is through blogging. I find it as one of my outlet wherein I can freely speak my mind and whereas some readers can relate. Well, despite that, I'm still farming while exploring the world more. Behind this realizations, if I would be asked "Who am I?", I can only say that I'm a dreamer who is always trying to reach something in life despite the hindrances.

It was how I put it and I think I have write something more that but I can't remember anymore. It's my version of myself in real life and the same her online. Although, I'm trying to hide my identity, which isn't a secret for other writers here anymore, I'm still the same wherever you see me. I wanted to be true and consistent. I want to left an impression that can help motivating people who have gone through what I have suffered back then. I know the pain, difficulty, and the pressure. It's insane, and I'm even thankful that I have keep myself sane until now. Anyway, I guess that's depend on how strong your will and capabilities are, wherein you'll only know if you start knowing yourself.

Thanks for reading!!!

• Let's see each other in Hive. Here's my profile.

• Lead Image is made from Canva

• Images are mine unless specified

• You can also find me at;

Twitter|Instagram|Telegram|Hive|Noise. cash