Change of Perspectives in a Random Post

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Avatar for Ayane-chan
2 years ago

The hardest parts aren't the exams, assessments, projects, and the evaluations but foreseeing yourself becoming successful in the career path that you are currently taking. It will measure your how determined you are to continue and finish what you have started. It will test all of your patience, perseverance, and consistency to achieve what you have aimed for from the very beginning. The question is, "Will you take the risk and responsibility for the decision you made no matter how unsure the future is?" This question always lingers in my mind and that I can never brushed off nor forget about it until now. Yet, I still chose to dive in the situation where I only have a little knowledge of what will be the future for me.

All that I could think, at first, is that this will be good for me and it can open a lot of opportunities in the future. When I have seen a chance for me to start over with my life and that I could be better if I would grab it, I didn't let anything to stop me from doing it. Yes, I encountered a lot of difficulties ever since before I could start executing my plans for the future and even now I'm still suffering from it. Consequently, discouragements will took advantage of my vulnerabilities and honestly, sometimes I felt that. I may not be able to sympathize with other people's sentiments but I still have that softer side in me which is the one that is always tempting me to fall into my dark side. Our shadows are a part of ourselves and it is just normal to have one, but falling deeply into its spell is the one that we should be avoiding.

Perhaps, I just tend to get emotional sometimes with the things that I can't even explain what exactly is stressing me out. Also, it could be that I'm just stressed because I can't figure out what's wrong with me and which side of me should I improve to present the best that I could have to people around me. Now, I missed the days where I wasn't giving any care about the world. It the useless part of me but at least, it is much safer that way. That kind of thinking like, it's enough to just be alive and get through every day. No skill building, retirement plans, and no plans of having responsibilities. However, I woken up to reality when it had slapped me for a few times. It didn't gave me any time to prepare but just strike early and left me choice but to go on.

I'll give a lot of credits to my self-consciousness and self-awareness for working hard to shift my perspectives to the positive side of things. I have strained myself almost every day just to have battles with my shadow and so it could let me do and try the things that I was anxious to do before. It was strenuous and my social battery often get drained before I could go home. Yet, I know that changing oneself, especially on the building and improving, is a long process and not achievable overnight. Sometimes, the pressure weighs heavier that I have to let it out. It might show my weakness but I don't hesitate to do just cry if needed. I'll just myself why and no matter what I could answer, I'll just feel better afterward.

Things don't stay the same anyway. I have learned it now that it isn't always going to be like this. As that famous quote says, "There's a light at the end of the tunnel." Well, here I am testifying that it's true. Seeing the fruits of my labor an it slowly shines before my eyes now, it hurts my sensitive eyes and leaving me teary-eyed. yet, those wasn't form for the dark reasons that I had before, those that flows now, is the tears of joy after knowing that all of my efforts have eventually paid off. The risk is high and the responsibilities along with it is a pain but it's a part of our life where we should deal of.


Just letting my mind speak through converting its thoughts into words. If you have read it up to this point, I appreciate it very much. Thanks for reading!

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Avatar for Ayane-chan
2 years ago

Comments

You don't have to see the end of the tunnel. There's no end. Everything leads to something and somewhere else. Choose your path, follow that path. You can change, if that's what your heart desires and focus on what you really want to do. It's not always the getting there, appreciate your journey. All the humps, all the falls, the getting back up, the teary ride, the happiness of meeting people on your way. Our tunnel never ends :)

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2 years ago

This is a heartwarming message that I have read today. Thanks, Ate. I know that I can handle my emotions but sometimes I really can't and I have to let it out like this time. Reading such a message as yours surely makes me feel better. Yes, I'm learning to appreciate all the things that I was going through now and loving the path that I have chosen.

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2 years ago

How old are ayane? Youve been living in this world for that longs meaning you are so strong.

I too sometimes (most of the time?) feel sad without apparent reason..yung tipong naglalakad ako tas bigla nalang may surge of melancholia na papasok sa katawan ko and i will feel sad and lonely and worthless... But i take a step back close my eyes for few seconds and breathe...then i think of a thing na nagpasaya sakin that day or that week or that month... Even the smallest thing... Tapos ayun ill tell muself its worth it pa rin dont worry

☺️☺️☺️

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2 years ago

I'm just 22 po. I can handle it but there are just times that it is out of my control and I have to let it out. Once I did, I'll feel better afterward. Pag naranasan mo na kadi yung depression kahit healed ka na, sinusumpong ka pa din kapag may mga bagay nagpapa-trigger dun or nagpapa-alala. Hihi.

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2 years ago

Yes depression and traumas work that way... Its just up to you nalang talaga to stand up against it... But you're 22 na you made it two decades in this realm..yakang yaka mo yarn fighting langs 💪

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2 years ago

Yes, po. Kakayanin no matter what. Thank you po.

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2 years ago

We can change our attitude through positive mind as well. We should believe in smart work because our world is moving with infinite speed. To synchronize ourselves with it, we should move with change of mind and flow of light.

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2 years ago

Yes. That's why I like it being busy, so I can't have time to think about it.

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2 years ago

Challenges are part in our life sis. Yes sis we should always be positive no matter what happened or how many struggles we had.

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2 years ago

Yes, we should be positive. It's just inevitable to break down sometimes.

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2 years ago

Now, I missed the days where I wasn't giving any care about the world. It the useless part of me but at least, it is much safer that way. --- hits me and then hits me harder with my new reality.

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2 years ago

Aww. Fighting lang, Ate kahit mahirap..

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2 years ago

It could be something else. I, also tend to over think and wander my mind somewhere down the road. It will be fine ate.

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2 years ago

Hope so. Hirap pag mag-isa, dami naiisip na kung ano ano.

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2 years ago

I myself alone was a witness of some of your hardships in life, blogs and some, real Marites it is. But I never thought you are that weak, you were so strong and independent women. I could feel your burdensome and stress and yeah never think you are that weak thou.

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2 years ago

Thanks, Yonong. I just tend to overthink and get emotional sometimes. I'm okay now, tho.

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2 years ago

You are doing good Ayane tan, you get this far because you hang in there. You sow in sweat and even got the cut while doing so but now you can finally reap it with happiness woth the only thought of getting yourSelf more to be the best version of yourself. AJA!!

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2 years ago

Fighting lang talaga. But, how to chill ba?

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2 years ago