If Only I can see you Face to Face

"So I promise to be true to you, to live my life in purity as unto you, waiting for the day when I hear you say, here is the one that I created just for you."

I promise sang by Jaci Velasquez

This is my favorite song everytime I feel weary and out of control.

I've been so lonely and empty these days, my heart seeks satisfaction that nothing in this world can provide. I found no reason to smile anymore, and it seems that I have no interest in doing anything at all. You see, I am nearly drifting away from God and it's the worst feeling I've never wanted to feel in my entire life. The only thing that binds my faith to God is the promise I've told Him in prayer ever since I decided to take my own cross with Him. A lot of people today thought relationship with God and the Christian life are beyond difficult more than what they think, well it's true. But When we felt that sort of difficulty many people would say "It gets better."

But what if it doesn’t?

I wish I had the proper words to explain it to you but this evening I just want to burst out the heaviness that constantly bothers me.

Imagine sitting in a wooden bench at a wonderful paradise that only you and Jesus are there.

If only I can see God.

Lord, I miss you

I am down right now, you seems to be so far away. I want to reach you but the guilt within me says No. I can't held my up high and been dragged along with my weariness. I am tired of all these mess around me. I've been trying so hard to follow your footstep but I kept on being lost in the wilderness. My focus was weakened, my foundation is slowly disappearing, and my desires are withering. I am in pain my Lord, keeping distance with you is like jumping into the cliff. Im no worthy at all, I kept on messing up, and my sins are rotting my soul.

Where is your hand? I can't hear your voice anymore, Lord are you hiding? Or am I just too blind and deaf to see and hear your call. I want to escape this world filled with selfishness and cruelty, I can't stand this anymore, I just need your presence to comfort me. Please take me with you Lord, I am afraid to be alone again.

I made a promise and yet I failed but how come you still forgiven me, I may be deaf and blind yet I know you heard me cry. You were there in the darkness when the tears slipped down my face and my heart broke within me.

I am sorry for being too weak and I don't want you to see me broke and in total mess handling all the sorrow and all the pain. But now I want to be true to you, I am tired of being in disguise.

Let me feel your touch and caress that can restore and mend my broken heart and rekindle the flame of faith once more within me. I will now take down all the barricades around my heart and lean on YOU instead. I LOVE YOU❣️

If only I can see you face to face😌.

Hayst😌 I am finally at peace! Writing is indeed a great way to unload all of my burdens. My apology if I sound hopeless right now but I just had no other option where you to pour out all of my dramas, and thank goodness read.cash saves the day!

Thank you so much dear sponsors I love you all🥰

Special mention to my beloved sponsor @Bloghound thank you for the Sponsorship renewal, I will be forever grateful with your continuous support and generosity sissy🥺🙏. God will bless you even more!❣️

All images are taken from google.com