The World As An Introvert

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The World As An Introvert

It seems today—at least in the U.S.—there must be something wrong with you if you’re alone. We praise the extroverts—those who know how to handle themselves in a crowd, the ones with vast network of friends. We think working in groups and on teams is the only way to find the answer to a problem. That two heads are better than one. That collaboration is the only way of the future.

But the truth is almost half of the world doesn’t agree. I don’t feel that way. Sometimes, the rhetoric gets so loud I wonder what’s wrong with me when I don’t feel like going to parties, or working on big teams, or being the center of attention.

I see my friends going out and wonder what’s wrong with me when I want to stay in. I see them collaborating on business projects together, and wonder if there’s something wrong with me because I prefer to work alone.

But there’s nothing wrong with me. I’m an introvert. And, according to some statistics, there’s about a 50% chance that you are, too.

If you’re an introvert, welcome to the club. There aren’t any meetings because we prefer to work alone, but you can at least take some solace in knowing you’re not the only one who feels the way you do.

For me, being an introvert doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy going out or having friends or being the center of attention once in a while. It only means that it’s not where I get the most value from my life.

Being “turned on” and in social mode is fun for me, but I can only take it in limited quantities. When I organise an event, I purposefully leave my calendar empty the next day because I know I’ll need to rest and recover.

If I’m working on a team, don’t ask me to brainstorm—I won’t come up with anything useful. But if you leave me alone to think awhile, you might be surprised at what I accomplish.

If you want me to come out with you and your friends, invite me somewhere quiet where we can talk. I get value from my relationships by getting to know you much more than just being around you.

And if you’re an extrovert, don’t assume there’s no value in this for you. In the same way I can enjoy myself in a big group, you may find you can also enjoy yourself… all by yourself. There is great value in being alone. And handling it well is a beautiful thing.

At the very least, it’s a useful life skill. You can’t always control when there will be someone there for you, so being able to happily conduct yourself alone is an important part of being alive.

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