So, @wakeupkitty, I have something i need to say.

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Avatar for AnonSunamun
1 year ago
Topics: Article, Advice, Society, Learn, Wisdom, ...

So @wakeupkitty wrote an article HERE to which I had a reply in which I felt I had to address an issue that might potentially be going on with her animal, concerning refusing to end the animals life humanely and end useless suffering of a living being.

to go to that reply. The reply was:

I hope that you realize this yourself or that people close to you mentioned this to you but in the off chance this is not the case, I'll be the senseless insensitive asshole that makes you feel even worse than you already do.

If your dog is in pain, incurable and can no longer be active... I'm sorry but then it is time to let him be put down. End the pain, no matter how difficult it is to do.

Sorry but with my own dog, Spock, I needed someone to tell me before I realized it. I wish you all the strength in the world and that you'll soon be able to switch from mourning the dog's passing to celebrating the life you shared.

Which prompted her to reply defensively. CLICK Here is what she typed:

My "dog" died with me and his pack. He is not an ordinary dog but a wolf that's why I took him from the breeder. He didn't fit the standards for a pet. Scared of the world outside and people, the vet is scared of him as well. He can't get into a car and hides plus said goodbye on his way which is fine. You may call this selfish and I'm fine with that. Btw there's nothing wrong with mourning and saying goodbye to a great animal no one wanted to give a home and brightened my life. 🍀♥️

Now this made me suspect she misinterpreted my intentions with my reply, which I, went to comment on. During the writing of that comment, I realized this would be another one of "my, way too long for slow chat in the comment section", replies. I decided to go with putting it in an article.

First I had thought to tell "the tale of Spock... and his... tail..."

But in Spock's case I was addressed by a friend warning me about what happened with the first dog I've ever owned, which I got a couple months before I met my, ex-wife. Because of that I was able to take the right decisions at the right time for Spock.

That made me feel that Telling you (the readcash community) all about Rhu, the Irish Setter-retired breeder stud that spent his retirement with me and my ex would be appropriate. It's something that still hurts to remember, and I've never talked about it to anyone.

So here is "the story of the end of Rhu"

It is right after my sponsors. My sponsors are the awesomestest in the universe. Check em out!

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To reply to the reply to my reply to your article: https://read.cash/@wakeupkitty/do-you-have-a-plan-5f2cf2cd

Here is my response:

Sure there's nothing wrong with mourning and saying goodbye. But I'd like to mention that often (mourning and saying goodbye) are used as a self-delusional justification for postponing having the Dog put down and extending its suffering. That sort of thing usually comes with all manners of reasons why the Dog's life still has meaning or purpose which often doesn't hold up to scrutiny that well.

Your reply is kind of a classic example of that or would have been if that was what was happening in your case. I'm going to deny I know if this applies to your situation.

However, these rationalizations, justifications, are in that one single reply to my reply: (taken from your reply)

  • "He is not an ordinary dog, he's a wolf.:

  • (invoking the notion that Wolves are stronger and tougher and therefore have higher thresholds than domesticated dogs.)

  • "Scared of the World and people."

  • (invoking the notion the would be no one that could have helped to prevent discomfort for the dog just before he died)

  • "The vet was scared of him"

  • (emphasizing the notion that no one could've helped.)

  • "Couldn't get into the car and hides."

  • (suggesting the notion transporting wasn't an option and therefore nothing could be done)

Classic things people tell themselves in situations like that. You then write a bold statement in an attempt at convincing (yourself?) the reader that you did nothing wrong and enabled it (the dog) to say goodbye the "My Way" way.

I'm really not an asshole!

So please don't think I am out to attack you or anything you did. On the contrary in fact.

The reply I posted was meant to be confronting for anyone that, at that moment or any time later in their lives, was rationalizing the postponing of the end for the dog in denial.

And I didn't do this to make them feel bad, or because I saw the potential for starting a drama fittie that left the other party defenseless for internet or clicks or something.

I have been there.

The only reason I posted that reply is that I know exactly how it feels, how someone in this situation sounds, how someone acts and how much it hurts me to think about how I failed Rhu and myself in my task of giving him a worthy end to his remarkable life.


Maybe I should explain some more at this point.


 I have experience with this:

Our first dog, Rhu, an Irish Setter we got from the pound was 12 years old when we got him. He had been owned by a professional breeder and he had reached his retirement. It was specifically mentioned in the introduction that hung on his cage "Rhu is looking for an owner that can give Rhu a good retirement for the years he still has in his life." I don't feel I did that, looking back.

We had Rhu as part of our lives for... I don't know exactly but somewhere around 2 years. The tumor was found before there were symptoms and we knew nothing could be done anymore. But as the tumor slowly started shutting things down Rhu didn't have any obvious pain but it came to the point he couldn't do anything he wanted to do anymore, and that was causing him much stress and, yes I'll say it: Emotional pain.

Random dog to calm senses and tention:

Rhu was a good dog!

For example, you could see that when we came home. Be it one of us or us together, Rhu would always bounce/jump from the couch in the living room and race to be at the door before we could really open it enough to go through.

But when he was sick, he wanted so badly to bound from the living room to the hallway to greet us, but by the time he got up and moved towards the hallway, we'd be in the living room already. He'd still come to us, but in his eyes was no joy. His eyes were sad, frustrated even.

It was a friend of mine that brute-forced me to open my eyes and realize our self-delusion and rationalizations for keeping him with us, so we could say goodbye properly and prepare. You can't. You can't be prepared for something like that. At least, I can't.

When I realized that pain is not the only way in which an animal can suffer and that Rhu was indeed suffering even though he had no pain, I called the vet's office and made an appointment for him to put Rhu to sleep. That was on Saturday, and the appointment was for Monday morning.

We said goodbye those last two days and pampered him as much as we could, and then I took him to the vet. I will never forget the change in his eyes from fear/pained/tiredness to... relief perhaps? Gratitude? I'm not exactly sure to this day, as he realized (somehow) why we were in that little room (waiting for the doc to come in)

And I swear that he smiled at me at that short moment. I put my arms around his neck and hugged him, and I felt the tension and anxiety flow from him and how his breathing went from fast short breaths to almost tranquil by the time the doc came in.

Then, after the injection was given I was left alone with Rhu who, 20 minutes later, stopped breathing and his heart stopped beating. I sat there with him in my arms for I don't know how long, silent and without thought, before leaving the room. I nodded at the staff and went home.

Oof!

It is one of the biggest regrets of my life and it is still so raw that I've been writing this through tears running down my face. Looking back I don't understand how I could have not deduced for myself what we were doing. I'm smarter than that! But it happened, and I did believe the delusions I told myself, which I wouldn't have taken seriously when I'd have heard them coming from anyone else.

So there it is. That is why I replied how I did, hoping to prevent unnecessary suffering if there was any to prevent or end.

If I've hurt, offended, angered, or otherwise caused discomfort for @wakeupkitty with my reply I sincerely apologize. It was not my intention by any means.

But if she decides to take offense still then nothing I will say or type can change that which, however unfortunate and how sorry I am to be the cause of it, is something I think can live with.

Sooo....

I am curious about what the readcash community thinks about this subject, so don't be shy and tell us about it in the comments!

Thank you for reading this

Stay safe and stay happy.

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Avatar for AnonSunamun
1 year ago
Topics: Article, Advice, Society, Learn, Wisdom, ...

Comments

Everyone has different point of view.. sometimes the things you see is good or comforting is not for others.. we just have to respect each other's opinion. I know you for being a sharp minded or sharp tongue and same with wakeupkitty. But I Know both of you aren't narrow minded, so I think this isn't serious thing ..😁

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