Crying became a habit of mine. I cry every now and then due to frustrations, stress, and sometimes I feel hurt all of a sudden. The trigger is when I get disappointed with anyone around me, when THEY always misunderstand me, when THEY judge me without knowing the real reason behind every decision I make or with anything I do. They have the ability of always making me upset and making me feel bad. I don't know anymore. I'll just keep it from them silently together with this read.cash. Be a witness of all the misery I'm going through. You'll always see me as a happy go lucky gal but I just hope you can see the crying heart behind every smile I give. I'm not how I used to be. I don't believe it at first and i thought that maybe its just my emotion because my period is near but its not it anymore. I always feel sad whenever I'm with THEM. Not because I don't like them but because of our situation. So many trials in every year that passed. So many heart aches from all the people who always criticize us. I pity THEM!
They my have said "it's okay" but I still feel like I'm a burden. I've graduated and had a contractual job but still dependent. Sometimes they feel proud because maybe of something I did good but then realizes someday that it's actually useless. Like having a rank as a reservist. Maybe its just the way I see it but I think THEY somehow felt proud when I received it but then realized that I don't get anything from it but just benefits. What hurts more is when THEY always laugh at me when I decided to be who I want to be or like when I said I'd go train as an army. I'd like to boost my confidence but the weight of their confidence in me is so light like a feather. I easily get discouraged even though you tell me I will not listen to them if I'd get to hear them say it, I can't help but feel so down because of it.
I also decided to join with my friend as business partners but the only problem is the principal money. I tried to convince THEM to let me borrow some but they're like a shaman that predicted it already that it will not work out. We had a perfect plan but still THEY did not support me.
These are all the source of my disappointment and heartaches that caused me to develop this habit of mine. Even though it happened a year ago or years ago once I get disappointed again it will all come rushing back like a bomb and that what makes me always cry myself to sleep.
Hello my dear. Let's entrust everything to Him. Don't stress yourself too much. Share your problems with us. Don't keep it inside because it will eat you the more you hide. Feel free to talk to me.. You can do that.