Life will always survive. Living in the country we have experienced the apparently impossible. More often than not. Homesteading takes you on the rollercoaster of life ..... and death. Homesteading shows you the bittersweet realities of survival. But one must take the tears of sorrow along with the tears of joy especially as the joy far exceeds the heartbreak.
Two weeks ago my beloved Emma, goatie mother and grandmother .... and great grandmother many times over, gave birth to twins. The following week she died.
Emma was, by far, my favourite goat. Despite having built the flock of Saanen to 60. Despite the dozens and dozens of goats I have raised, and loved, and parted with, Emma knew she was special. She has been on this homesteading journey with us right from the beginning. She was the first and she remained the favourite. She was everything goat dairies look for. She was a constantly excellent milker as well as a good, and prolifically bearing, mother!
Her first home removed her horns (a practice I abhor). She was my only hornless goat although we teased her that she had the biggest imaginary horns of all goats. Every Spring, when she kids she flashes those imaginary horns in the direction of anything that could possibly pose a threat to her babies. However she never flashed her head in my direction. I could never decide if she viewed me as her mother or one of her kids.
Emma and I have been inseparable around the homestead for nearly a decade. Every day, after milking, I would have to convince her to pretend that she was a goat for the day so that she could actually go out to graze with the rest of the flock. She would voice her indignation but saunter off. Often during my day in the dairy Emma would saunter back in again. Sampling the goats milk soap or complaining about the packaging of the goats milk cheeses.
The health as well as age of many animals is determined by the number and condition of their teeth. Over the past couple years I have watched in dispair as Emma's teeth have slowly worn away and fallen out. We have kept her from the goatie buck as she has aged. But this year I realized that Emma was born to be a mother. She is the best goat mother I have known. And so earlier this year she went on honeymoon with the goatie toyboy. Goats, like most humans, flourish during pregnancy. But following the birth they lose condition rapidly. If you were to have had the conversation with Emma she would have no regrets. Losing her life in order to give birth to her precious babies was all she would've understood about Life.
Earlier this year we buried our beautiful Great Dane. It took the BuckarooBabies a while to comprehend that she was gone. And now, we are having those same conversations about Emma. Death is so final. And yet it is such a foreign concept to children. To most adults too. Life was never meant to survive losing so many loved ones. Emma and Dana were so much a part of our homestead. The love and unity between created beings so beautiful that it is painful to imagine life without them. Goat and Dog would play together and I often found them in what appeared to be deep conversation. They are buried side by side and soon a tree will be planted above them.
Life will always survive. Emma has left so many sweet memories. She also left two precious little goatie kids who will be raised believing they are humans disguised as goats. Emma birthed so many beautiful goatie girls, one of her daughter's and granddaughter's milk is now raising the new generation.
There is a gaping hole left by Emma's absence. And yet through the tears we see her frolicking twins. And so life continues .....
Thank you!