Whom would have thought that i will be a mother? I just wanna share it to you. I had a long time boyfriend for almost 11 years. We get into relationship during our high school days. Never been serious with it. I know it was just a puppy love. We are different from the other relationship that they are very close together. Maybe it's rare that we talk. Me that time never been serious but i don't make our relationship as a game. I just don't want to make it as my priority. All of my thinking those times was to graduate and maintain my grades.

Some of my classmates said to me. Hey! Why are you not like them? I just answered, don't compared me to them because I'm different. I know what i was entered but this was not my priority. That's my thinking before.

The revelation

My mama doesn't know our relationship but she know he courted me because he went to our house one time, but mom refuse him to pursue his attention because we were too young at that time. When we graduated high school. I went to city and find a job. Him also went to Manila together with his father because his father had a project there that's why he go. When i heard that there was a laundry shop hiring. I eventually apply and luckily got a job. But that time my boyfriend is in city already. We're still communicating and updating each other.

One day it comes up into our mind that why we should hide it, we were old enough to handle a relationship already. He said. I am still afraid because i am still planning to school in college. Maybe it will change if i should reveal it to my family. I ask him a favor maybe we could save our courage to tell if i will get enrolled in college already so that i can assure that i could still study. And he just okay.

And yes! We revealed it after i got enrolled. We were so happy because we taught Mama won't allow me. But as i see in Mama's eye she was happy for me. Besides she showed more care for my boyfriend than me. But it's okay!

During College days

Got a smooth studying first when i get in school. First year college is cool for me even if I'm in a relationship. BUT, during my 2nd year, it was not my intention we had a misunderstanding, and this time he went school also but far away to my school in the north side. I couldn't imagine myself without asking how is he there. I was blinded with my PRIDE. I don't listen to him and i did not let him explain his side. I was in the tip of conscience because Mama always reminded me how he is good to me. I stop communicating to him but they are still texting with my Mother. I feel how mama voted him for me. I just waited that my boyfriend approached me in person but he did not. Until i graduated college without him. But, honestly I'm still love him. It was just my pride.

Jealousy

While i am reviewing, i still have more time already for social media. One day, i just realized what if I'll try to open his account in social media? trying if i could open it. And guess what?! I opened it. He doesn't know. I read all of the convos there with his friends. Since i am updating and fishing his account. I feel comfortable. At least i know how he's doing there. Sometimes he message me but i ignore it. Sometimes I'd reply but it could be feel that i am interested with the topic. I was being so paranoid. And then i opened again his account and then BOOM! he had already a chatmate. I don't know what I feel those times, but all i could say is I was jealous. Started that day, i always do fishing in his account. Never expected that it can make my heart more pain. I've read everything they chat.. And only one line that make me hurt more is they exchange "i love you". I feel down! I do not have the appetite to study/review already. Since i am fishing, his brother was being close to mind we texted and then comes into that topic. And i was relieved because he said that those girl link to his brother was just for fun. Because that girl had a crush to his brother and then he just tried it if how easy she is. But, in my mind i don't know if i will believe it. I know his brother was not of a kind a play boy. The more painful to was they had a picture together and upload it in social media. So there! I can feel that we do not have a chance to come back. I started to forget him. But my mind was not cooperated. But I'm still trying.

Reasons we meet again

My mama got sick, i was her care giver those times. His brother and i still have a communication that's why we were still updating of what happened. My mama go referred one the hospital in the city. And then it's just coincidence we texted with his brother, he texted where am i, i just answered that we are in the hospital because of Mama. It wasn't my expectation that they go together with my ex which is his brother. And then he call, he said hello what hospital are you? I just answered the name and then they said we will visit your mother if it's okay, i just said OKAY. It was shocks they went there and visit Mama, and me that time confuse because i didn't fixed myself. But since i am the one who took care with my mother i don't mind it anyway. This was our first meet since we were apart.

Communications Back

Because of Mama we meet again. And then he texted me. He communicate me again and asking of mama situation. Now, i don't mind of what happen in the past all we had is we were texting again.. While he is busy in finding a accompany for on-job-training. I was thinking what if i will try to open again his account. I opened it, then there i read another revelation, he chated his close friend there that something that he was caught by his gf that we are communicating again, because he tell to his one friend and that one friend was there in the house of his gf that's he caught. His gf read everything they chated. Me also thinking, i taught it was only one girl involve but it's another girl. My ex cleared everything his damage. Since we're texting already, i ask him that who is his gf now? He just said, no one. And then said can i courted you again if you don't have boyfriend. I just answered i am not sure to enter again. I'm tired. I took Mama, maybe i will just focus to her. And then it cames that he revealed the he link before. It was just nothing to him. But, i still not believing on it. I challenged him to meet after my board exam if he can do it then maybe i will give him chance to court me again. And yeah he never fail.. He did. Starting those times the more we make closier but not in relationship. Since Mama left after a month i took the board exam he was therw for me that time. He visit me in our house because he knows I'm sad.

He became an inspiration again

Since i feel worry of what mama's happened and i got failed my board exam again, my brother wanted me to divert my mind. He let me enroll in a review center again, this time i focus my review already. And this time i am in relation already to him. He made me forget sometimes of whats happening to our family.

Getting closer

Years pass by since Mama's left, our relationship is getting stronger. We were so serious for looking a job. He did it, and me also continued studying in Masters. Until pandemic came.. It was not our expectation that i got pregnant with our first baby, unexpected happened even if how careful you are. And because i got pregnant i stop my tutorial and focus with my pregnancy.

Our Everything

The most painful and happiest happenings into my life came and that is my baby came to us. And tomorrow we will celebrating her 2 month's Old. I always thanks to God of what happened to us now. We may not in stable job but we are here together striving and take the challenges in life

This is my true story, i just cut some it because i am already sleepy.