I have been blessed with my family because we are a productive family. I was the 9th child out of 9 siblings ,some of my neighbors they told us before to my parents, why are you not using family planning, you have a lot of children now? How could you let them eat? , you are just a construction worker pointing my father, and you pointing my mother, you are just a farmer? HOW ARE THEY QUESTIONING MY PARENTS?!

My parents are so kind to everyone, they never think negative to them. Instead they are just ignore them,because for them it's not their problem to look food for us it's my parents obligation and in fact never that happen my parents begging them to ask for food.

The more they notice our family the more my parents striving for us. They fought together with my father. And we are so happy of our simple life before and that's our secret as long as we are living together. BUT, the times goes down when my father left us.

When He Left Us

Papa left us when i was young at 7 yrs old, i was grade 1 that time. A day before our recognition, since before we do not have cellphone, my brother came home early just tell us about the news, i was about to hug my brother because I'm very happy to see him came home, it was turn out into sadness. I could still remember that everyone of them are crying, while me left with confusion. I just remembered that my sister hug me tighter crying and me started crying also without understanding the situation. All i could hear was Papa having an attack by highblood pressure. Since Mama was not around. My brother follow her in the streams. Mama was shock and she could not imagine herself. Since my Lola was still alive at that time when she know the news she follow also our mother there and she was the one finished washing our clothes.

Recognition Day

I never expecting that all of my parents was not around. Mama needs to took care Papa in the hospital. I was so sad because Mama was not there, i ask to myself "who accompany me when i get my award when both of them was not around? I was dismayed with papa because a week before our recognition he said to me he will be the one to accompany me when i get my award. Of course i was so happy at that promise. But sadly it opposite of what i was expecting. I just present my self in school but not in a good mood. When i got in my classroom my teacher ask me how was my father? I just answer them, i hear my mother and brother talking that papa was 50/50 i don't know what's 50/50. They are shock. One of the parents of my classmates took care of me, they let me change my clothes for our presentation and fix my hair. When i was called in the stage to get my award so lucky that my Auntie was present she was the accompany me get my award. Still i am not happy enough because i saw my classmates with their parents together, but i am thankful to my Auntie that she was there.

A Bad News

Days goes by i think it was 12 midnight i just heard the serine of ambulance without knowing what happened in the outside of the house. I just sleep again. I heard some voices of people but i don't mind it, just to sleep. When my Mama opened the door she called me and woke me up, i was happy and said "when are you home Mama?" She just answered me "just tonight". She said, you change your clothes now, because its wet. I just follow what she instruct me. When i go outside, i was shock,our neighbors was there my uncle, Auntie and cousins was there, my older brother was there i don't why they are there. I just do the old tradition "Mano po" to my Auntie and uncle. Auntie told me, you go to your father she pointed, i saw father lying in the bed. I don't know why is he not moving. I was about to hug him but I'm afraid because he slept with a straight body. As They sad touch your father now,but i don't. But my mind wanted to him. I could feel that Papa is so cold. Then i saw Mama, my sister and brother crying. There, my mind change maybe this is what i saw in the television how people died. I know it that papa was died already but because of my young age it still not sink in into my mind.

When I Look for Him

After Papa's buried. Our home turns into silent. I could still remember the coldness of the house and the people around. My family facing a financial problem when Papa's left. Mama was so sad, because she ask herself how can we proceed studying without papa. Because at that time we were four siblings studying, 2 in elementary including me, 1 in high school and 1 in college. So there, our older brother told to my Mama that he will handle the needs of my brother which is the college one. But my brother opted the offer, he said we need financial, he said maybe i will stop studying and look for a job so that i could help Mama So there, it was agreed by everyone.

Even if we my brother got a job it was not enough our needs, Mama has a lot of borrowed money from our neighbor, and we feel ashame 9f it because we are afraid if we cannot return it to them right away. Some of our neighbors got angry us and hated of our experience but we did not mind it because we know ourselves than everyone. My thinking before that if we could finish studing i will never allow them to be part of my journey but that thing never been happened because they are our relatives. If we had a little celebration they included them because we don't want them to think about us.

The Success

Yes, we're two succeded studying college, but a year after graduated our Mother left us. I am not yet a license teacher that time. I was the who took care our mother. I cried when i am not in front of Mama because i don't want her to be sad. She's got an NGT because she couldn't eat in using her mouth because almost of her body was in a comma. Almost for almost 6months i took care she surrender her life to God. And i was hurt, it was so painful for me because she left us without any says because she cannot talk. She only nods her eyebrows. Before she left i took an exam without a review because im tired and i lost my confident to took because Mama is not cheering me because of her situation. A month after mama left the result was out and it was failed. I told to myself i will never took the exam again. But my brother told me to review again and took the exam. Also to divert my sadness. And it was very effective but when I'm alone i could not deny the truth i missed Mom already.

I took an exam with a better determination and prayers to God also dedicated it to my father and mother in heaven. And we are very happy of the result because i got it. And so thankful to God.

P. S i had a lot of childhood memories to share but i don't have enough time to share because i am busy. Hope you like it.