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Just imagine yourself, giving advices to someone you know nothing about. That's how love works, if you can't love yourself, then what will you give to someone? You can't give what you don't have, as simple as that.
Having this realization in mind, we will then decide to find that love within ourselves before seeking it from others. I know, it's not as a easy as a piece of cake especially for those people who can't accept who they are as a person and can't understand that flaws or imperfections are natural for us as a human. We are not perfect, but others are closing their minds and hearts to accept this reality.
First on the list, you have to treat yourself in a kind a way and accept who you are, fully. All people have problems and challenges in life, but it doesn't mean that you have to abuse yourself to work on it by sacrificing your own physical, emotional and mental health. Another things is that, when others tend to treat us harshly, we sometimes blame ourselves for being prone to violence. We blame ourselves for being ugly, weak, or other negative traits just to justify the actions of others toward us. But, that shouldn't be the case. It's not your fault when someone treated you badly. It's their's. The problem is within them and not from you, so don't always put the blame in you. Be kind to your own self and you will find the peacefulness you deserve.
Sometimes, it's better to free yourself from people for quite some time and embrace that solitude by allowing yourself to be mindful with your thoughts, beliefs and feelings about your own self. Embrace what you think about yourself whether those are positive or negative traits, so you can accept who you really are despite the circumstances. Embrace what you feel about yourself so you won't be confused about what you are supposed to feel in whatever situation you are currently into especially if it involves other people. Embrace your own beliefs so you won't get deceived easily because you have your own guide that can filter out what you are supposed to believe on. But of course, I am not advising you to close your mind on other things and just hold on your prior beliefs. What I am saying is that, before believing be a critical thinker first by means of validating the pieces of information if those are true or not, and embrace what you think are true and essential so you will have your own weapon in this world full of lies. With that, you are fully aware about your own self, that will lead you to love it fully whatever happens.
When you’re grateful for the things you have, no matter how small they may be, you will see those things instantly increase,”
~Rhonda Byrne (author of The Magic).
It's very important for us to be grateful about who we are and what we have so we won't feel the jealousy from others that will lead to our happiness being ruined. If you want to love yourself fully, then be grateful first. Be thankful about who you are despite the flaws lingering in your system because that's what makes you confident knowing that you imperfections doesn't scare you anymore to face anyone with a straight face.
It's okay to rest sometimes if you feel like everything is beyond your control. You don't have to be on top everyday in a sense that you are giving away every bit of yourself just to win always. We all have bad days, and not just happy ones. We are not always on top, so better take a rest sometimes rather than getting disappointed if we fall apart. We still have more days to come. Gain your energy, and take that trophy again without sacrificing your physical, mental and emotional health. Love yourself by freeing yourself from exhaustion.... please keep that in your mind.
Falling in love with yourself before others doesn't make you a selfish one. It makes you a practical person by applying it to your own self before others.
Self-love is the first step of falling in love. You can't move forward to the next one, if you haven't mastered the first step.
Don't be too impulsive by entering a relationship without having a prior knowledge about what love is and how to embrace it. The person you will try to love will suffer if you don't know how it works. You must be trained. You must learn and practice loving yourself (your strengths, flaws, thoughts, beliefs and everything about you) so you won't have to be confused about showing your love to someone.
Some couples broke up from each other because they are not happy anymore and they want to find themselves again. They became lost in the midst of the relationship they are committed because they never get to know who they are before. They jumped on loving others, forgetting about falling in love with their own selves first. They skip the first step, so they are having a hard time to move forward to the next.
This article is based on Vishnu's blog entitled "Who to Fall in Love with First: 6 Ways to Love Yourself," where he tackled about his experiences of loving until jumping out to a realization of loving himself first. After reading his work, I got inspired to write my insights about it which lead me to write my own article that I can share to all of you here.