Hey, 22!

Today, the considered to be lucky day is currently happening, and everyone is delighted for this palindrome date.

2/22/2022 is not just considered to be a palindrome date, but if you can see, it can also be read the same both forward and backward. 

In other culture, they say that palindrome dates are lucky so, today might be the lucky day of some people now, even you.

For me, maybe if I am not optimistic and positive thinker, I’ll consider this day as one of the bad days of life. Since yesterday, I am not feeling well, not because I am physically sick, but I am emotionally broken. I’ve been carrying this heavy feeling in my heart and I don’t know what’s the exact cure for this one. I’ve been holding back my tears when I’m in front of other people because I don’t want them to worry about me, and aside from that, I don’t want to look weak on someone’s eyes.

This melancholic feeling of mine is one of the reasons as well why I am not consistently writing and publishing articles everyday. My mind and heart seem not ready to express my feeling into words, and I am clouded with negative thoughts lately.

But, far from what I’m feeling right now, I know that my sister feels the pain more deeply until now.

Yesterday, one of the saddest and painful moments I’ve ever experienced was happened. The baby that my older sister had been carrying for 2 months and 8 days, was lose. My sister experienced miscarriage and our family is still grieving for our little angel.

I remember when me and my mom was counting the remaining months until my sister’s baby will be born. I even thought that for the next celebration of Christmas and New Year, there will be a baby in our family picture. I anticipated how beautiful the future will be with our little baby, but how unfortunate life is because he/she was not able to see the world where we are living now.

We are all excited to see him/her. But, our baby was not meant to meet us all. My sister and her husband were so devastated about losing their first child and all of us can feel how heartbreaking it was. 

My sister cried a lot when she was still in the hospital, and kept screaming when the fetus fell from her private part. Aside from how physically painful it was, I know that the emotional agony was way more devastating. 

The undeveloped baby fell from my sister’s womb was put in a plastic bottle and the doctor drop some formalin on it for the fetus to not decay easily. We then put the baby (who’s in the plastic bottle) in our altar and we lit white candle next to it. My mom said that we will bury the baby on the next day.

Until now, I am still sad about what happened and I don’t know when will I heal from it. The crying, screaming, and devastating moment left me traumatized and to be honest, I am afraid that I might possibly experience it in the future with me as the mom myself. Now that my sister was the one who experienced it, it seems like my heart broke into pieces and I don’t want to feel that agony again, directly or indirectly.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Life is not always sunny, there will come a time when a storm will come, and we can’t do anything about it but to be strong amidst the painful moment. But, what’s good in experiencing difficult times is that, we have a choice to be happy again by genuinely accepting what happened (good or bad), and by making ourselves joyful again despite the negative experiences.

On this day, since it’s considered to be a lucky one in some culture, I, my sister and the whole family are trying our best to fulfill the belief associated with this palindrome date. We’re trying our best to be strong, I just hope that everything will be fine soon.

And for our little baby, we may not be able to see you alive and kicking in this world, we are praying that you are happy wherever you are now, and always remember that we love you so much. 

Author's Note:

As a sign of gratitude, I want to express how thankful I am to you, my readers. Thank you very much for those who keeps on supporting me with my articles, and I hope that even though my writing skill was not yet pro enough, you are still learning from it. I am very thankful also to my sponsors, I am hoping that you are all doing fine and for you to be showered with more blessings from above. 

May the good Lord bless you more with love and grace! 😇❤️

Thank you so much for reading! 💕

Date Published: February 22, 2022

Lead Image and Gif: Originally edited by me using Canva