Some times in the dark

Sat, August 14,2021 (#13)

Dark

Ask me not during this time where my vision's not working,

Afraid not for it's been my thing,

Long gone the troubled heart to tame,

Been used to this kind of game.

Mama would be my first word as cry persist,

Falls of the diamond, I couldn't resist,

The scared little darl when darkness surround,

Seems monsters would rise from the ground.

I was born during the night of the 15th of July. Mama said I was born at 10:00PM and they do have a belief that if you were born late evening, you are likely to be unafraid of the infinite darkness. The opposite tho, if you were born during the broad daylight or when the sun's peaking,rising and stretching from it's temporal sleep, you are perceive to be afraid of the dark. However, this is just a mere speculation so I don't believe in it.

If you were to ask me? Of course. A bit. Dark, Darkness or being in the dark scares the shit out of me most of the time- back when I was younger.

Blackout

I wouldn't forget those chilly feeling when there was a sudden power outage and then I'd open my eyes. One day, I was alone in the room and I was awaken by something. Soon enough after opening the lid that separates me from the real face of the world, I didn't see anything other than black. I cried. Ever since, I have been afraid to fall blind, that's why. I thought I lost my sight during that time that I cried hard and even widen my eyes to see nothing but darkness. Imagine my little self in that state? Oh stupid me.

I called my mom who immediately joined me in the dark room with a flashlight. There I realized I wasn't blind. I stopped crying- thankfully.

Walking on a dark alley/ pathway/road

Stumbled. Walk like a real blind extending my arms. When walking in a dark alley, I make sure I have something to light up my way. Of course, for the fact that some gracious presence of animal manure such as of dogs are confidently lying on the ground. Afraid that I might step on any of them. Another thing is that, I was afraid to bump into something. Something terrifying. I don't want to discuss about that.

Alone in a dark room

I was afraid of being alone- before. But I didn't let them see my weakness. Deep in my thoughts and imaginations, some sort of black entities are forming and will try to get me. On the walls, behind the doors, the windows and even outside of the house and near the gigantic trees. In my peripheral vision, monsters look alike would appear like weird shits. Shove them away. That's my mantra.

Being alone in a dark room, or an abandoned place will surely throw me to the pit of terror.

Darkness has a silver lining

As I grew older, I realized that it's not bad to be in the dark.

• It keeps you hidden

  There are things you should not or would not want to show to the world in the clearest, brightest daylight. You yourself, would thank darkness for keeping you hidden. Away from things you would wish not to witness and experience.

• It means silence

  The world is noisy, chaotic and pretensious.

• It's black but true

  Darkness isn't that bad at all. It's a plain one. Black. You won't see any fake color of life.

• It's a "me" time

  Console yourself. At some point, look before you and your life. See who matters, or if there are really some people who makes you feel you matter to them.

When darkness embrace you, will you embrace back?

It's not that it forces me to stay. Sometimes I find myself being engulfed by what seems the enemy of everyone. Sometimes it becomes my refuge. (How ironic) Why do we have to blame darkness about our state? If it could talk, there'd be tons of dagger like question thrown to us. It's not just the darkness that gives us difficulties or mental predicament. It's us. It's on us.

Photos are not mine.

Credits to- unsplash