Published on: September 04, 2021
You don't have to read this. This is not me. This is just a negative something✌. Forgive me for sharing this.
His Point of View
I'm tired of these bullshit in my head. I'm tired of living my life, living my life, living my life, nothing is actually changing. I've tried to rescue myself,alone, because no one ever dared help me up. Everytime I ask for help, no one ever showed up and give me a hand. All I ever receive was pure insults and belittling. I'm tired. Hearing the same words, from the least person I imagine to utter those painful words.
It made some unique carvings in my heart. Who would have thought that after many years from the moment I was born, this would be my fate? Or maybe everyone already knew and they let it happen because that's what is meant to happen. I can't evade my fate, who can?
Mom and dad, I can see the disappointment in their eyes. I've heard many times how disappointed they were to have me. At how pathetic are my decisions or how poor my life is, my skills, my whole being- a mess, unworthy, a pure disappointment.
I don't know where to turn now. What should I do next? Even my supposed and known friends are no longer by my side. I've seen that coming too but I still thought someone will choose to stay by my side. But no one.
My dreams, are a dull paintings of hopelessness. They are gradually losing and fading. No, they are actually on fire, like someone is burning them for me. I don't know what to feel other than emptiness. That dream, that family, that friends...
I've lost them all. But I'm not losing this last hope.
I'm asking, just one day. One day, that I'll be enough. I'll feel enough. Instead of a disappointment, I'll be someone worth to be proud of. If not for them, then for myself. I'm tired, yes. I'm tired of chasing and asking them to like me...I'm pulling this last drop of hope, if I won't be successful, then I shall perish, peacefully.
Lead image -unsplash