How much of me do I know now?

Sat, August 21, 2021

I have read some of Darius Foroux' articles but I haven't read this article of his about self awareness containing 20 essential to improving one's self awareness. Thanks to @dziefem's Are you good at pretending? Since I don't want to write anything, and I broke my words, let's do this!

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Do you know who you are? By saying, do you know what you want, what you value the most, and what you are as a person and most especially how you want other to see your real being?

It's important to step back and assess yourself with question that will stretch some facts and information about yourself. With the help of these questions, you might know something about yourself-today. Here's mine...

19. What do I think about myself?

Plain. Dependent. Not so creative. I'm not so smart since 1st grade. Lol. Until now, I think.

18. What type of friend do I want to be?

I honestly don't want commitment. Lol. Coz friends mean commitment. Tho, I want to be a good, reliable, understanding friend. Someone you'll wish not to let go. But that's not my main concern. I know for sure I am not that kind of "friend". I won't change myself for the sake of gathering friends. If they want me for what my attitude is, then that's great!

17. How do I want others to see me?

Tough question is it? Okay, I want others to see the good in me. Why do everyone find the darkest side? And start to blabber about that? Or if they can't see any good, then they should close their eyes. Basic. Lol. Hahaha.

16. What am I good at?

Okay, I don't know if I'm good enough to be called "good" in that area. But I am good at understanding other people. And I am good at tolerating negative emotions.

15. What am I bad at?

I'm bad at being blunt slash frank. I can't say what I wanna say right in your face. Most especially to point out your mistakes because it'll be embarrassing. I'm bad at acting and containing my laughter. Geez, when pulling a prank, and it is always me who sabotages the whole thing. Sorry. Hahaha.

14. Do other people's thoughts about me matter?

For the most part, Yes. Big yes. I can't deny the fact that other people's thought about me and my actions affect me. Hopefully I could get rid of this weakness. It sucks.

13. What is the most important thing in my life?

My life, my phone, and bitcoincash! Lol. Can I say many of them? There are plenty of "important thing" that includes living. Being able to breath and continue to live in this world so I could do and achieve my goals and dreams. Another would be, time. We all know how precious time is.

12. Who are the most important people in my life?

Myself. Lol. Of course, I don't have any other choice but my abnormal family. Hahaha. I hate how I love them inspite of all the imperfections I wish I could fix.

11. Am I getting enough of sleep?

I don't think so. And I'm not proud of it. For now, I'm starting to reprimand myself to give myself some sleep. Because that'd be a great gift for myself. And that will, kind of, prolong my dear life.

10. What makes me wanna live?

Life is really magical. You want to die today and cling to your dear life later on for you have realized that it's a waste to waste your life. Things are complicated most of the time. Memories, experiences, and the things I wanna do are what keep me here. Living and breathing❤. I can't imagine that I will never be able to eat my favourite foods and I will not be able to taste those famous dishes. Movies which will be released in the future- i wanna watch them too.

9. What keeps me relaxed and sane?

The goodness in every bad situation. The beauty of nature, the chirping sound of those free birds outside trying to flaunt their wings on me and how free they are flying on the broad horizon. The seemingly infinite breadth of the bluish vast ocean and the silence of the night are what keeps me sane-trying to pull me out of my depressing reverie.

8. What if I'll get rejected?

Rejected on what? If it's work, of course I'll get hurt and disappointed. If it's love? Then I'll feel the same. Lol. Being rejected will surely kick my ass but that's life. We can't get all we want- some costs a fortune.

7. What type of worker will I be?

I don't know. I haven't work in any company. But one thing is for sure, I'll value my work. I will surely work hard to impress. Hahaha.

6. What makes me sad?

Not getting what I want. I got so many questions left unanswered. Most are about why the hell do I have this kind of life?

5. What makes me happy?

You guys makes me happy. Receiving good comments from you inspires me to write more nonsense. Hahaha. But honestly, being alone and at peace while having some chips, pizza, burger, are what makes me happy. Spell Food.

4. What makes me angry?

When my sister and younger cousins talks back at me. I feel so disrespected.

3. What type of person do I want to be?

Good, Successful, and charitable? Aside from the truth that I want to live a " normal life", a stable one without worrying for the fees, food etcetera. Also, I want to bestow help among people who needs help. Especially those who are financially unstable. The poor.

2. What do I want my parents to think of me?

Good daughter. I want them to see the good in me. Shall they accept that I'm their daughter. Lol. And they should stop comparing because that sucks like a fluid is entering my vein. It stings.

1. What makes me afraid?

To stay here. To stay who I am today. To stay and feel so worthless and unmoving. Of course, the thought of death sometimes scare me. But when I'm so whipped and torn, I don't fear death. Okay, just take me will you? Lol.

And I'm done! Hahaha. Those questions squeezed my brain. And upon reading, my attitude are exuding. And my responses seem to ooze depression.

God knows I made my best to respond to this self awareness questions. And I'm happy that I'm already done. I made an assessment and pick most valuable amongst valuable things for me. I'm knowing myself better.

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Lead image - giphy