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Why do we value ourselves our failures rather than our achievements?
Are we doing any good on that?
I understand how much people want to succeed in their carriers, in their relationships, in their jobs, in life in general. But I also have come to realize that an over-abundance of ambition on that matter can do more harm than good.
Life is always putting us through some obstacles that we are always able to handle, even though our mind doesn't believe we are.
And yes, maybe we are good at one thing, that challenges come and we are able to manage and overpass them like nothing, but a life with little to no struggle has no meaning behind it all. What's the point of having a life like that? Don't you wish you had a little that's empowering and inspiring to others? Yes, of course. Then, if the answer is yes to that question, then why are we so afraid of failure?
That question had haunted my soul for many years because I haven't figured out the answer completely. But I've come up with a piece of the puzzle.
The reason why we are afraid if losing, of not achieving what we wanted, of not succeeding, is because with that failure also comes uncertainty.
We always plan things for success, completely ignoring the fact that maybe life has other plans for us. And with this message, I'm not trying to say that you shouldn't set your expectations high. In fact, I encourage you to do so but also be aware. Be aware that everything you do in life has a chance of failure. You don't need to think about it, you don't need to stress about it. Just say to yourself:
"Yeah I'm going to do this, and it's going to be great. But I know it can also not go my way, but that's okay! I knew this is how it's supposed to happen".
Surrendering to the possibility of failure means failure can hurt you anymore. Because you are not resisting the fact that it can go opposite way. Because you're giving away your perfectionism and you're retaking your freedom and your peace. Because no matter where the outcome leads to, you are going to have have because there's no opposition on your part.
This is what it means to flow with life.
Yes, you can have intension on things (you should have it on everything you do), but if you're imposing resistance because you want to have certainty and all you do must be under your control, then yeah, maybe things can go your way, but you inner happiness will fade away like a shadow in a dark room and the feeling of being empty will arrive when you least expected it.
The best thing you can do is to surrender to the possibility of failure. This doesn't mean you're weak or conformist. It means you're not letting the power of failure torment you, instead, you use it as a motivation to work in your favour, and paradoxically, lead you to success.
All of a sudden, failure becomes something else , something different. If failure can't defeat you, then what can? Nothing. That's your new reality. You have transformed the negative impact failure has into you life. You start learning from it, and the roles in life have changed. There's no more winning or losing. There is only winning or learning. Defeat is not an option for you anymore.
And with that, you will begin to embrace the fear of rejection or not achieving what you want with kindness. It will look ugly at first sight, but you will know deeply that beyond all that uncomfort and rejection the most lesson is stored.
People are afraid of not obtaining what they want not knowing that the resistance their putting to they're energy with that, is distancing them from the most beautiful treasures that life has in store.
I hope you all have learnt something new today or just helped you to see a different perspective of life.
Thank you for reading this, I really do appreciate a lot and will be hoping to read your thoughts on this at the comments section.
We will see each other in my next post, until then, thanks for passing by to read. May God bless you all.