The Hobby of An Introvert (Me)

Have you tried not to feel like being with others? I mean, you don't like to hang out with others and choose to be alone. Is it nice to be alone? Do you prefer to be with others or be alone? Which is more fun, to be with other people or to be alone?

I am an "Introvert" person. Here's why:

Childhood

When I was a child, I am not like my cousin who's healthy and able to play outdoor games. Before, my parents won't allow me to play outside because I easily get hurt and I am sensitive. I am not allowed to be under the sun because I suddenly collapse due to heat. I easily get cold and cough if I am with someone who has that sickness. My siblings can go outside and play while I was just at home. As a child, I don't understand. That is why sometimes I got mad with my parents. But as days go by, I understood them. It is because one time, I plead to my mother that I want to go outside and play. She said okay since there is no sun at that time but not raining too. It's a nice day. I joined my cousins in their games. The game was "Lingin-linginay" where there is someone who will catch/touch someone inside the circle but he needs to be on the edge of the said circle. When the game started, we strangled our hands to each other who's inside the circle. But then, the accident happened. As we move side by side, afraid to be touched by the "Taya", we all stumbled to each other and the worst happens was we dived on the ground and I was under my cousins. I felt that my world spin. I can not hear them and my vision is getting dark. I know they're calling my name but I don't know how to respond. I looked at my arms which I felt so numb. There I saw blood in my elbow. I saw my one cousin run to our house, there I saw Mama running to me and carried me. She's talking to me and in my mind, I am responding to her. I saw her cried out of worried. When I felt okay, she didn't scold me but said that I can not play again outside. It was the time when my parents got strict when I went outside.

So, for me not to get bored, I started to draw. I draw animals and nature. It was not perfect until I saw my father's book. A book of houses and structures. I draw some of the houses in that book. And my father was proud at that time. He even bought bond paper and pencil that time and a ruler too. That was my hobby when I was a child. Since I am also afraid to play again outside. We also play with my sister a bahay-bahayan but they prefer to play outside.

Teenage or High School Life

This time, I am still an introvert. I don't want to be with others and I only have two friends. They are also introverted and we seldom talked even we're friends. We have the same hobby. But one of my friends likes to write. They introduced me to my anime. They said that watching anime was nice. Before we don't have phones and the internet, so they're watching anime by buying a disc or a DVD. They let me borrowed their DVD. At first, I don't like it because it's Japanese and the subtitle makes my eyes hurt. But then, I learned that the story was nice. The title is " Maid Sama", the story is about a poor girl who's schooling in a prestigious school while working as a waitress in a cafe. I will not elaborate it here though. Since then, they will lend me their DVDs since I can't afford to buy them. It was the start that I chose to stay at home watching anime than mingle with others even my cousin who's the same age as me. They're asking me out but I always decline. I don't feel to hang out with them though.

Even when I had stopped my studies after I graduated high school, all I want is to stay at home and watch anime. J had watch lots of anime that they're already shuffling in my mind, lol.

College Days

During this stage, since I took Education Course, I need to mingle with others. Though I talked with friends, I still have this barrier in me. I can not trust easily and I prefer to be alone. At school, I always seat at the back where no one will notice me. I am holding my phone while watching anime or sometimes reading manga.

I have a friend who said that k-drama is good. And that I should try to watch it. So, I tried to search for the title she had given me. I looked at the time of each episode and it took 1 hour or more. And I was like, it will just make me bored. But then, I still tried. So I watch the first episode. I was hooked on the story so I watched the next episode until I finished it. Since then, I always look on Facebook about k-drama that is good stories and any updates of newly released k-drama.

It was my stress reliever when I am stress with my studies. I also watched Turkish series. And one of them is the "Erkenci Kus", I love the characters of the said series. My friends would ask to go outside and fun but I prefer to stay at my boarding house and watch series.

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For me, it's good to be alone and do my hobbies than to be someone else. I don't know why, but maybe because I have the trust issue before. I can not easily trust someone. I am afraid also to talk with someone because they might backstab me. That is why I am contented to be alone and do things that made me smile and happy. Also, I am ashamed to be with others and I felt I am out of place because I can get what they're saying. The feeling of being alone though you are with someone.

And when I am alone, I felt free. Like, O don't have to think other people. And that if I decide, I can decide without there opinion.

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That's my story for being an introvert person.

Note: Cover image from Unsplash

https://unsplash.com/photos/77mx-jc-gb4