If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else.” “Doctors are just the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.” “I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.” “My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.” “To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.” “Trouble knocked at the door, but, hearing laughter, hurried away.” “Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.” “Have you noticed that all the people in favor of birth control are already born?” “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”