Rebuking a Friend
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Proverbs 27:5-6
A true friend is one of the most precious wealth we can have in life. The verse above strikes me deeply because it reveals so much about the most recent happening in my life. A friend of mine is struggling with her relationship with a guy who is currently in a relationship with another woman. It cuts my heart whenever she shares with me how sincere he looks like and how excited she becomes when she thinks about this guy as her partner in marriage.
Through the years, I’ve witnessed her heart and we’ve been through a lot together in our walk with God. Hence, no matter how I try to feel happy for her, there’s still a pang of guilt in my heart because we both know what’s going on wrong here.
I thought that in our effort to keep the friendship, we tried to be nice and supportive to a friend as much as we can that we missed out what’s more important and right. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to tell a friend what she or he is doing wrong. Let’s always ask ourselves questions like these: “Am I loving a sister or brother if I do this?” and “Am I doing this for a friend’s betterment or for my own satisfaction?”
I think that strife tells something big about what kind of environment we are creating in a friendship. Is it healthy, loving and safe one? To feel safe and relieve with friends whom you can ask dangerous questions and deal with criticisms constructively while still loving one another say much about the effectiveness of a friendship. If you have this kind of circle, don’t ever give up on them because they are the people you know you can count on until the end.
It’s amazing that I still ended up with a bottom line of these all that is Jesus. In John 15, Jesus commands us to remain in the vine which is Him, because apart from the vine, no branch can bear fruit by itself. It is the same with our relationship with people, we value relationships as much as Jesus values His relationship with us and the Father; apart from Jesus we cannot know how to love one another genuinely for God is Love.
In the later passages, Jesus wonderfully tells us this:
“ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.”
In the end, it’s not just about our efforts or how matured we are in handling things well but it is the attitude of our hearts toward it that tells the difference. Loving others is an overflow of our love for God. By His grace we live and by Him we are able to love too. Hence, only through Jesus we can perfectly love our friends.
25fca811d5b394393284aac590e85d30
“We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.” 1st John 4:19-21
Rebuking a Friend
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” Proverbs 27:5-6
A true friend is one of the most precious wealth we can have in life. The verse above strikes me deeply because it reveals so much about the most recent happening in my life. A friend of mine is struggling with her relationship with a guy who is currently in a relationship with another woman. It cuts my heart whenever she shares with me how sincere he looks like and how excited she becomes when she thinks about this guy as her partner in marriage.
Through the years, I’ve witnessed her heart and we’ve been through a lot together in our walk with God. Hence, no matter how I try to feel happy for her, there’s still a pang of guilt in my heart because we both know what’s going on wrong here.
I thought that in our effort to keep the friendship, we tried to be nice and supportive to a friend as much as we can that we missed out what’s more important and right. Sometimes the most loving thing we can do is to tell a friend what she or he is doing wrong. Let’s always ask ourselves questions like these: “Am I loving a sister or brother if I do this?” and “Am I doing this for a friend’s betterment or for my own satisfaction?”
I think that strife tells something big about what kind of environment we are creating in a friendship. Is it healthy, loving and safe one? To feel safe and relieve with friends whom you can ask dangerous questions and deal with criticisms constructively while still loving one another say much about the effectiveness of a friendship. If you have this kind of circle, don’t ever give up on them because they are the people you know you can count on until the end.
It’s amazing that I still ended up with a bottom line of these all that is Jesus. In John 15, Jesus commands us to remain in the vine which is Him, because apart from the vine, no branch can bear fruit by itself. It is the same with our relationship with people, we value relationships as much as Jesus values His relationship with us and the Father; apart from Jesus we cannot know how to love one another genuinely for God is Love.
In the later passages, Jesus wonderfully tells us this:
“ I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.”
In the end, it’s not just about our efforts or how matured we are in handling things well but it is the attitude of our hearts toward it that tells the difference. Loving others is an overflow of our love for God. By His grace we live and by Him we are able to love too. Hence, only through Jesus we can perfectly love our friends.
25fca811d5b394393284aac590e85d30
“We love, because He first loved us. If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.And this commandment we have from Him, that the one who loves God should love his brother also.” 1st John 4:19-21