Deary,

I feared losing you before. I feared never seeing that smile, never hearing that voice, never knowing how did your day go. I feared a lot of things when we were together, but we always brushed it off. Didn't we laugh at my fears, saying they were baseless and would never happen? I found comfort in our words, in our laughters, in our jokes, until what I feared happened. I never knew that nightmares could dig a hole in your heart and take root there. It's like the Night Mare Imbri turned my heart into a gourd, which would become the entrance to a void.

Now, I know what it feels like to never see your smile, to never hear your voice, to take every ounce of control just so I wouldn't ask you how did your day go. How did your day go? I'm sorry. I have been told before that getting my heart broken would lead me to creating good poems, poems worthy of everyone's attention. But nobody ever told me that poem would mean nothing once you heart breaks. Nobody told me how chocolate would taste like sand, how the rain would sound so noisy, how the sun would start glaring at me, or how the ocean would look so sad like it's mourning. Nobody told me how fears (when they come true) can kill when a heart breaks. Little by little, we become hollow shells. We become voids. We just.. drift.

(Un) Love, M