putting in effort to love First, you simply must put time and energy into dating. A combination of online dating and socializing (perhaps including speed dating or singles mixers) is ideal. And second, you must go about dating the right way—from a positive attitude and an effective online dating profile to behavior on dates and communication with potential partners. If your approach to finding love is waiting for it to just come along, you’re taking a huge risk and will probably be single for a long time.