we generally associate with decency and morality—kindness, sensitivity, compassion, honesty, and
empathy—can also be impressive political resources.”
If politics can be fertile ground for givers, it’s possible that givers can succeed in any job.
Whether giving is effective, though, depends on the particular kind of exchange in which it’s
employed. This is one important feature of giving to keep in mind as we move through the ideas in
this book: on any particular morning, giving may well be incompatible with success. In purely zero-
sum situations and win-lose interactions, giving rarely pays off. This is a lesson that Abraham Lincoln
learned each time he chose to give to others at his own expense. “If I have one vice,” Lincoln said,
“and I can call it nothing else—it is not to be able to say no!”
But most of life isn’t zero-sum, and on balance, people who choose giving as their primary
reciprocity style end up reaping rewards. For Lincoln, like David Hornik, seemingly self-sacrificing
decisions ultimately worked to his advantage. When we initially concluded that Lincoln and Hornik
lost, we hadn’t stretched the time horizons out far enough. It takes time for givers to build goodwill
and trust, but eventually, they establish reputations and relationships that enhance their success. In
fact, you’ll see that in sales and medical school, the giver advantage grows over time. In the long run,
giving can be every bit as powerful as it is dangerous. As Chip Conley, the renowned entrepreneur
who founded Joie de Vivre Hotels, explains, “Being a giver is not good for a 100-yard dash, but it’s
valuable in a marathon.”
In Lincoln’s era, the marathon took a long time to run. Without telephones, the Internet, and high-
speed transportation, building relationships and reputations was a slow process. “In the old world,
you could send a letter, and no one knew,” Conley says. Conley believes that in today’s connected
world, where relationships and reputations are more visible, givers can accelerate their pace. “You
no longer have to choose,” says Bobbi Silten, the former president of Dockers, who now runs global
social and environmental responsibility for Gap Inc. “You can be a giver and be successful.”
The fact that the long run is getting shorter isn’t the only force that makes giving more
professionally productive today. We live in an era when massive changes in the structure of work—
and the technology that shapes it—have further amplified the advantages of being a giver. Today, more
than half of American and European companies regularly use teams to get work done. We rely on
teams to build cars and houses, perform surgeries, fly planes, fight wars, play symphonies, produce
news reports, audit companies, and provide consulting services. Teams depend on givers to share
information, volunteer for unpopular tasks, and provide help.
When Lincoln invited his rivals to join his cabinet, they had the chance to see firsthand how much
he was willing to contribute for the sake of other people and his country. Several years before
Lincoln became president, one of his rivals, Edwin Stanton, had rejected him as a cocounsel in a
trial, calling him a “gawky, long-armed ape.” Yet after working with Lincoln, Stanton described him
as “the most perfect ruler of men the world has ever seen.” As we organize more people into teams,
givers have more opportunities to demonstrate their value, as Lincoln did.
Even if you don’t work in a team, odds are that you hold a service job. Most of our grandparents
worked in independent jobs producing goods. They didn’t always need to collaborate with other
people, so it was fairly inefficient to be a giver. But now, a high percentage of people work in
interconnected jobs providing services to others. In the 1980s, the service sector made up about half
of the world’s gross domestic product (GDP). By 1995, the service sector was responsible for nearly
two thirds of world GDP. Today, more than 80 percent of Americans work in service jobs.
we generally associate with decency and morality—kindness, sensitivity, compassion, honesty, and empathy—can also be impressive political resources.” If politics can be fertile ground for givers, it’s possible that givers can succeed in any job. Whether giving is effective, though, depends on the particular kind of exchange in which it’s employed. This is one important feature of giving to keep in mind as we move through the ideas in this book: on any particular morning, giving may well be incompatible with success. In purely zero- sum situations and win-lose interactions, giving rarely pays off. This is a lesson that Abraham Lincoln learned each time he chose to give to others at his own expense. “If I have one vice,” Lincoln said, “and I can call it nothing else—it is not to be able to say no!” But most of life isn’t zero-sum, and on balance, people who choose giving as their primary reciprocity style end up reaping rewards. For Lincoln, like David Hornik, seemingly self-sacrificing decisions ultimately worked to his advantage. When we initially concluded that Lincoln and Hornik lost, we hadn’t stretched the time horizons out far enough. It takes time for givers to build goodwill and trust, but eventually, they establish reputations and relationships that enhance their success. In fact, you’ll see that in sales and medical school, the giver advantage grows over time. In the long run, giving can be every bit as powerful as it is dangerous. As Chip Conley, the renowned entrepreneur who founded Joie de Vivre Hotels, explains, “Being a giver is not good for a 100-yard dash, but it’s valuable in a marathon.” In Lincoln’s era, the marathon took a long time to run. Without telephones, the Internet, and high- speed transportation, building relationships and reputations was a slow process. “In the old world, you could send a letter, and no one knew,” Conley says. Conley believes that in today’s connected world, where relationships and reputations are more visible, givers can accelerate their pace. “You no longer have to choose,” says Bobbi Silten, the former president of Dockers, who now runs global social and environmental responsibility for Gap Inc. “You can be a giver and be successful.” The fact that the long run is getting shorter isn’t the only force that makes giving more professionally productive today. We live in an era when massive changes in the structure of work— and the technology that shapes it—have further amplified the advantages of being a giver. Today, more than half of American and European companies regularly use teams to get work done. We rely on teams to build cars and houses, perform surgeries, fly planes, fight wars, play symphonies, produce news reports, audit companies, and provide consulting services. Teams depend on givers to share information, volunteer for unpopular tasks, and provide help. When Lincoln invited his rivals to join his cabinet, they had the chance to see firsthand how much he was willing to contribute for the sake of other people and his country. Several years before Lincoln became president, one of his rivals, Edwin Stanton, had rejected him as a cocounsel in a trial, calling him a “gawky, long-armed ape.” Yet after working with Lincoln, Stanton described him as “the most perfect ruler of men the world has ever seen.” As we organize more people into teams, givers have more opportunities to demonstrate their value, as Lincoln did. Even if you don’t work in a team, odds are that you hold a service job. Most of our grandparents worked in independent jobs producing goods. They didn’t always need to collaborate with other people, so it was fairly inefficient to be a giver. But now, a high percentage of people work in interconnected jobs providing services to others. In the 1980s, the service sector made up about half of the world’s gross domestic product (GDP). By 1995, the service sector was responsible for nearly two thirds of world GDP. Today, more than 80 percent of Americans work in service jobs.