Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.” “Here’s to our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet!” “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” “If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.” “Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.” “A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”