Where It All Began

Welcome back! Hello there, again it's Zzhie here. This is my 3rd time posting an article about my life experiences so if you haven't read that yet, please do so and also consider subscribing to my ID if you want to hear more about my story.

For my previous article, I shared my journey on getting married at the age of 18 and the 2nd article I tackled there about why and what I've been through for not getting into college. So now I would also like to tell the hardest challenge that we encountered in our married life.

Here we go...

After my in-laws helped us in having our first business, every day I go to the store and my husband would also go to his work. Even if it's better to work together so that the work will be easily done, we had to part ways.

A little background about my husband, if there is a perfect man in the world, I would say my husband is. But because we ain't have such a perfect person then that only means we all have our weaknesses. My husband is hard-working, kind, and all that positive attitude but he also has this bad habit of his. When we're still gf and bf, I noticed that one of his weaknesses is he can't resist the temptation in drinking alcohol. Every day he would drop me off first from the store before going to his work. Every evening he would also come to pick me up, though it is not so far from our house and that is just how the routine was. But then one time, he called me asking if he could go jam with his friends, of course, I said yes as long as he would not go home so late. When he got home he said he's sorry he just enjoyed playing the guitar then he said he and his friends got an offer from the bar's owner to play music every night then they'll get paid. So every evening they go to the bar and played music for an hour.

At first, it was going smoothly since he is abiding with our rules, but then there's a time that he got home at midnight which is not good because he didn't even see my messages nor answer my calls coz he's so busy playing. I ignored him all night, I woke up, eat changed my clothes, and walked to the store from home I also told him that he doesn't have to pick me up in the afternoon. I feel it that he's sorry because he keeps on coming to the store and sends a lot of sorry-messages. I couldn't endure seeing him sad so of course, I forgave him and after that, he finally decided that he wouldn't go to the bar anymore, I'm relieve and relaxed after I hear him say that. As a wife, I really couldn't sleep at night when I know he's here but he's not sleeping beside me, it makes me so uncomfortable. He also told me a story once when they got drunk with his cousins, he's so drunk that time when his older cousin came and draw unto his face using a marker, he just didn't draw it but he also punched and kick him so he got a black eye and that is the memory that I always fear it would happen again. That flashback always comes to my mind every time he's drinking with somebody may it be he's cousins or not.

Let's continue the topic coz I think we are deviating with our main topic. 😁 peace

Maybe because my husband feels what I feel about my burden for not going to college he said that he wants me to pursue my dreams and that he'll support me as I study. There are no other words that could express what I feel the moment I heard that from him. It's like even though I haven't gone to college yet I feel like I just graduated. That is my dream to go to college and have a bachelor of secondary education. So I found again the courage and motivation to work hard again every day.

After months of waiting for the next semester, it finally came. We were so ready for me going to a new school and see a new environment, my husband even bought me a laptop at that time. The joy he feels is twice as the feeling I feel because finally, the day that we have been was waiting was here. So a month before August we went down to the city and stayed there for a couple of days. While staying here at the city, I suddenly feel weak and dizzy but was also the time when my husband is scheduled to go to La Union to have his driver's license so he has to leave me for a while even when he doesn't want to. For the first day of having a fever, luckily I cope up with it, it's just that I really can't eat. I was alone in our house, just crying because of my headaches. For the second day, I was expecting my husband to come early from La Union but unluckily he didn't because La Union is far from our place. I have just been sleeping all day, sweating and crying loudly 😅, that was the first time I experience having such a thing, like a fever plus flu, maybe? 😁😅.

When they arrived both him and his parents, he took care of me. He bought me my favorite fruit just so I could eat. He took care of me until I feel better and I was so thankful because even though I'm acting like a baby 😅 when sick, he has a lot of patience. I adored him for having that sweet attitude.

Then, because I feel better than the previous days, I could stand and eat a little so I asked him to go out for a while and buy some unripe mangoes and medicine too. So he went out with a happy face saying that he'll be back soon. I was patiently waiting for him to arrive after almost an hour, but he's not here yet so again like I always do, I texted him and ask him why he's still not back yet.

He just replied "Sorry, I met an old friend of mine and we're having a little pleasure. We're just going to finish our drink and I'll be there real quick".

After I read his text my vision went dim and blurry, and then there, I was crying again.

How can he have a little fun when his wife is here, lying on a bed feeling sick and weak? Is your friend more important than me? Can't you see I'm waiting for my medicine?

There are a lot of questions running on my mind at that time. I tried to think positively but I really can't. All I can hear is those questions echoing in my head until I end up crying and pity myself. 😭😭😭

I cried so hard because I feel like I'm not important to him at all it makes me think that I am not his priority. Out of the blue, I changed my clothes and wore my shoes. Because of mixed emotions, I decided to just don't bring my cellphone with me when I go out. That was around 7 pm already and it's so dark outside though I'm scared that I might collapse in the dark because I still feel dizzy thankfully I still managed to get myself in the market and buy my own medicine.

When I got back from the pharmacy, I feel pissed off not because he's not home yet, but because he didn't even remember to text me nor call me. Right before I decided not to bring my phone I am expecting him to call me or just even text me that he'll go home at that moment but to my surprise, I didn't receive any.

Because of that, I'm not only pissed but angry. And here comes my tempted mind telling me to just ignore him and lock myself in the house, so that when he arrives he'll look for me and if he doesn't find me, he'll feel sorry. So that is what I did. I just left my cellphone in our room, lock myself in the house, and slept to my sister's room. I was crying so hard at that time but I was also trying to hear if he already arrived by the sound of his motorcycle. But minutes later I can't hear any sound and it's making me pissed again.

Why? Did you already forget about your wife who's sick? Did you forget that you have to take good care of your wife? Again, a lot of questions are coming out and I can't help but pity myself.

I am feeling sleepy when I heard my brother and my uncle unlocking the door. Because I didn't want them to see me, I hid under the bed. I can hear their stories also my phone ringing from the other room. I heard it ringing a lot of times that I wanted to go pick it up. I wanted to go out from under that bed but I can't my brother and my uncle will see me. What will they say if they caught me like this? So nope, I didn't go out of the bed nor pick up the phone.

It became silent for a moment because I was listening to them, I heard my brother got a phone call and

I can just hear him say "She's not here. There's no one in the house only us." and then the call ended.

Then right after the call ended they went to our room because they can here the unstoppable ringing from my phone. I heard my uncle answered the call from my phone this time,

I just heard him "She's not in their room. Her phone is just right in their room but she's not there. I don't know where she's at because we just arrived" and then that's it.

At that time I wanted to say "Hey, I'm right here under the bed".......... but because I don't know if I'm scared or I'm shy, I just stayed quiet again.

Again, I heard them looking for me "Did they argue? Where is he? Where is she?" then they started checking each room.

They lastly opened the room where I was hiding, "She's not here, but there's corn right here maybe she went here earlier." Then my uncle turned off the light, closed the door then left the room.

I waited a couple of minutes again just listening to them, they even went to our neighbors and ask if they've seen me but they said no. Because I couldn't stand it, I went out of the bed. Even though I was very nervous I did go out and talk to them like nothing happened. (why am I so nervous about writing my story?) 😁.

I went out and said, "Who are you looking for?"

They just said, "Where have you been, you have a lot of missed calls, your mother also called me."

I just smiled "I was hiding under the bed".

My brother handed me my phone "Call your husband he thinks you left him.''

You know the feeling when you finally achieved something? That's just how I feel...

I picked up my phone and called him in a monotonous tone "I'm right here. Just come home, I'll wait for you"

And he said, "Really is that you? Are you joking around me?"

What the heck. "Yup, it's me. Don't you want me to answer the phone?"

He sounded a little happy "Okay. I'll go there now"

The call ended in that way. Because I was so ashamed of my brother and uncle I went directly to our room. Lying on the bed and waiting for him to come but it was over 30 minutes but he is still not home so I had to call him again. The phone was ringing, then it became unattended. I tried calling him again then finally he picked it up.

"Hello, what's taking you so long?" I said with an irritated tone.

"Hello, is this the parents of this patient?" -the other line.

"Nope, who's this? I'm his wife." - I replied.

"Okay, your husband has been on an accident, we are at *, his legs are broken he can't walk. We're taking him now to the hospital. I suggest you come." the police.

What???? What did I just hear?? Am I dreaming? God help us, please.

(I don't know why I feel so nervous writing our story. Remembering and writing what we've been through makes me emotional so I think I'll have to end it here first. I'll make another one for the continuation of this). Adios!