Winning back that special girl

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Avatar for zolabundance2
2 years ago

I am cleaning out my hard drive and have come across old work, which I can't even remember doing and for what, in some cases.

Here's one that might be worth sharing. Its filename is trial.rewrite, so it must have been for some writing job I was applying for. Whether I got the gig or not, I can't remember. But the words are here...

She's gone. You may be apart now, but out of sight is certainly not out of mind. Is there any way to win back that woman who gave special meaning to your life?

Men are clueless when it comes to fixing a damaged relationship with that one special girl. They do better facing a pack of mad dogs.

How to go about it gets more complicated when you can't even figure out what caused the break-up in the first place. Was it a question of fidelity? Did I take her for granted? Were we poles apart in what we wanted? Was I even worthy to be her significant other?

So many questions, even more doubts, but nothing as bad as the pain. The best way to start is to get answers. No matter how small the spark that started it all, it was there. It's time to find out if the flame is still an ember that can be stoked to life again.

Groveling won't win you brownie points. She'll know she has the upper hand and will take advantage of it. And the last thing you want is to look more pathetic. If you want to gain her trust and respect again, start by respecting yourself. It is always so much harder to turn away someone respectful.

If she's the type to deal with sensitive matters face-to-face, request for a meet-up. Some place quiet that will allow you to really talk. If it won't hurt, a favorite restaurant where you can both recall good times would be a perfect choice.

Yes, it'll be awkward at first. An apology, if you think one is necessary, will go a long way in breaking the ice. But you must be clear about what you're sorry for because it builds your credibility and re-establishes sincerity.

When her defenses are lowered, you can begin to bring up what you shared together and how it was good for both of you.

Paint a picture of how much better you were as individuals when you were together. Then make her realize how much of a waste it would be not to work at resolving the issues that led to the break-up if you can be better people together than apart.

Going at it on your own can be scary. Mutual friends can come in handy to pave the way for a reconciliation. They can do this directly, telling the girl about how the two of you were a good couple, or how the break-up has made things worse for you.

Another hint would be for the friend to express how sad it was that you were unable to sort out the issues that caused the relationship to end.

Even with someone else intervening on your behalf, always be ready to act in case your ex-girlfriend shows signs of interest in reconciling.

Have a plan ready for when she decides to re-connect with you. While spontaneity works, it always pays to have done your homework in advance. The first meeting after the break-up is crucial if you want to win her back.

Think public speaking. You need to make an impact with your opening line. Once you have her attention, build your case, and state the possible options available for both of you. Remember your closing is to stress why you wanted to meet again.

The meeting is as much about you as it is about her. Be sensitive to her reaction. If she seems open to the possibility of getting back together, suggest it. A "no" or "not sure" answer should not make you lose hope. Instead, find out why she didn't agree so you can plan your next move.

She gave you a chance by agreeing to see you again. If the reason for the break-up was so grave, and no amount of apology is acceptable, you would not have gotten that far.

Keep at it so she knows you're serious about rekindling your relationship. As long as you make her feel you can handle the relationship better, work out your issues and emphasize why "US" is better than "YOU or ME" and the possibility of getting back together increases.

I have no idea if what I wrote (based on someone else's idea) actually works. Perhaps you can share your thoughts...

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Avatar for zolabundance2
2 years ago

Comments

Well, good read. In public speaking "a good opening" does get your attention. But what i actually go for is the consistency 'til the end. Always go for FULL ATTENTION rather than lose the attention in the middle of the discussion. I'd like a good opening backed up with good proposals and is open for options. In the matter you are discussing, well, i'm still clueless at this age, so, just this.

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2 years ago

Thank you for dropping by and sharing your thoughts. Of course it is best to be consistent from start to finish when trying to persuade someone, be it a romantic relationship or some other thing. I merely used my example to show that there is a need for a good opening to get, then hold, someone's attention. Presenting your case to make the other party see your point of view is the goal.

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2 years ago

I have always thought that in every relationship there are moments of rupture. If both people are willing to try again, they should talk about the issue causing the conflict. Try, as far as possible, to reach mutual agreements. The idea is to re-establish a relationship that seeks to improve in the future. But if, in the action of the new beginning, the agreements are not set in motion and the fault is committed again, beware, because you could be falling into a vicious circle of mutual self-dependence. Greetings.

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2 years ago

What wonderful insight you shared and I agree with you. I think it is not a matter of insisting on a relationship if whatever caused the breakup in the first place is not addressed or resolved. But, two people should also be open to chances and change because they might really be meant for each other. Thank you for sharing.

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2 years ago

getting back or proper closure? hehe.. it is a step forward wanting to connect and maybe still have that chance of winning her back...

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2 years ago

It should achieve something, whether to end things with finality or decide there could be a second chance. I think this is especially for situations when guys are blindsided and don't really know why they broke up in the first place.

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2 years ago

Well, these are tips that may be useful to couples who have separated but still feel love and can reconcile a meeting.

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2 years ago

That is true... it really depends on the two parties, and if they are willing to work on their relationship for real. Like I said, it may or may not work.

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2 years ago

Oh my, public speaking for me is one of my greatest fears. I am a shy type of kinda person. By the way, nice write-up. 🥰

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2 years ago

Thank you for dropping by. I didn't mean to discuss things with the ex as if you were public speaking. I was just describing what public speakers do to get their point across.

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2 years ago