Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

We all want to get along.  We all want peace, harmony and understanding in our lives. We live in a society where everyone has an opinion about everything, and that's great. But when we have such strong opinions on every issue, it becomes very difficult to get along with people who have different opinions We all want to be respected and cared for, but it seems like we can’t agree on anything. Why is that?

We take a stand on every issue, no matter how small.  We argue about politics, religion and sports teams.  We analyze things from every angle, and then debate some more.

But what's the deeper reason behind this constant battle of ideas? And why do we feel the need to do this in the first place?

And while some of us might attribute that to the fact that we simply don't agree on anything,  the deeper and more profound reason, is the fact that we each have a different definition for “being right.” We believe we are right, and others are wrong.  We don't like even having to consider the possibility that we might be wrong.

We tend to cling to this belief so strongly that we don't like even having to consider the possibility that we might be wrong. In fact, sometimes when someone tells us something we don't want to hear, instead of listening, our first reaction is to argue with them—like you can convince someone you're right using logic alone!

And here's what's funny—we are arguing that we need to get along and stop fighting, with good intentions but the minute we expressed our opinion on the matter and suggested an alternative (which was nothing more than an opinion), it became a battle of right vs. wrong, who was right and who was wrong. That's why every argument turns into a fight: because everyone involved wants to be on the side of what they consider to be "rightness." And when everyone involved feels like they know what's right, no one is willing to admit that someone else might be right, too.

In so many cases, people care deeply about their causes and beliefs, but when it doesn't affect us directly we can easily dismiss it as not worth fighting over. But in our constant quest to be right, we release a lot of emotional energy that could otherwise be put towards more productive things. It's in our nature to want to be right. Just ask any toddler if they like to be told that that they're wrong, and you'll probably get a dirty look or a tantrum in response.

But this instinct doesn't just go away as we age—sometimes, we get so passionate about being right that we even pick fights with people we love over something silly, just for the sake of proving them wrong.

It's natural to hold strong opinions, but our tendency to fall in love with politics, religion, and other ideologies can sometimes be destructive. It gives us something to stand for and justifies our belief that we are right. But if we value the quest to be right so much that we will write off loved ones who do not share our views (even if their opinions are fairly harmless), then what are we really standing for?

Just imagine how easy it would be for us to get along if we stopped focusing so much on whether or not we're right, and instead started focusing on finding solutions to our problems together? It's not about agreeing with everything someone else says or making them agree with you—it's about understanding other people and working together to find solutions.

Why can't we all just get along? That's the question that haunts the modern age. Yes, we're all human. We can't agree on everything. And we don't always have to! But sometimes, it would be nice if we could all just get along. Unfortunately, that's easier said than done.

I think that instead of blaming those with whom we disagree or who have different lifestyles and beliefs than we do, perhaps it is time for all of us to take a good look at ourselves. Are we really the tolerant, inclusive people we think we are? Or do we fall into the trap of judging people by how they look and live their lives without truly getting to know them first? This world is so divided, but I believe that if each of us was willing to try extending a little more kindness and understanding in our daily conversations and actions, then maybe these divisions would begin to bridge themselves.

I wanted to write an article with a more positive message. And if there is any message that I want readers to take away from this, it's that we can make a difference. We can try our best to be less judgmental and more compassionate. We can recognize our flaws and work on fixing them for the sake of the greater good. Remember, this isn't about you—it's about having a healthier society.

All photos including the lead image are from unsplash.

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