You've probably heard the phrase "self-love," but may not have heard of L-O-V-E, which stands for Living On Valued Energy.
LOVING yourself, then living your life accordingly gives you the best chance of being happy. That's because when you don't value yourself, you can't fully engage in your relationships, career, or creative endeavors. You'll be too busy feeling like you need to prove your worth to others.
Sometimes, this lack of self-love is a result of being raised in dysfunctional households or having experienced traumatic events. But regardless of how it happened, once we're aware that we don't value ourselves enough, we can work to change our outlook and behavior so we can become better versions of ourselves.
It sounds simple—I mean, who doesn't love themselves? And who wouldn't want to be happy? But there are some things to consider here.
First, most people don't love themselves at all. They think it's selfish, or they feel like they don't deserve it. Or maybe they just don't know how to do it.
Second, most people think that working toward other people's happiness will make them happy in turn. That if they work hard enough and make others' dreams come true, theirs will come true too. This is not how life works!
L-O-V-E is a practice that takes a while to get used to. It starts with loving yourself as much as you can—and if you can't find a way to love yourself right now, then finding ways that help you learn how to love yourself.
In order to really focus on LOVING yourself, we must make sure that we are building our lives around things we VALUE. Your values are the MOST important thing about you. They are what makes you unique.
When you value something—the environment, children with disabilities, the arts—you commit your energy to that thing. You donate money to causes you care about. You volunteer at a soup kitchen. You bake cookies for your coworker who has cancer. That's valuing something and then putting your actions where your mouth is.
Living on valued energy means doing the same thing—but for yourself. When you put your actions where your mouth is for YOURSELF, then you're living on valued energy for yourself. You're committing your energy to yourself in ways that really matter to you. In other words, you're loving yourself!
It sounds too easy to be real, right? But it's not! All you have to do is ask yourself a few simple questions: What matters to me? What gives my life meaning? What makes me feel like I'm making a contribution?
After we determine our values, then we can start working on living a lifestyle that is CONSISTENT with those values. It's a pretty simple formula, but it can be hard sometimes to take this approach because our society tells us it’s okay to be inconsistent and hypocritical—but just remember: YOU ARE NOT A HYPOCRITE if YOU ARE TRYING TO BE MORE CONSISTENT!
Sometimes we all need to reevaluate our priorities in life, and I'm here to tell you that one of the most important things you can do is focus on valuing yourself.
That's what L-O-V-E means to me: Living On Valued Energy. In other words, loving yourself and living your life accordingly. It's a simple idea but powerful in practice.
When you love yourself, you make room for your own happiness, even if it looks like something you don't expect. You're able to understand that you are actually in control of your own happiness, not anyone else. You have the power to choose how you want to feel—and no one else can take that away from you!
Loving yourself also means having the energy and motivation to pursue things that are important to you. Whether it's work, family or friends, short-term goals or long-term dreams, when we make these things a priority, we're able to go after them with dedication and passion. And when we give ourselves permission to be happy with the choices we've made, we're more likely to succeed and do our best work.
If you're in love with yourself, you'll always be able to find beauty in your eyes. You'll always be able to find strength in your arms. You'll always be able to find gracefulness in your legs. You'll always be able to find luster in your hair. You'll always be able to find power in your voice. And most importantly of all…
You'll always be able to find happiness in your heart. Life is too short not to be happy. Everybody deserves a chance at being happy!
-zheanders 2022
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