Hidden Tears

I watched Dennis walk away in the rain. I couldn't stop it, perhaps my pride was bigger or my fear of having to invite more troubles for myself.

I liked Dennis, I know I did but not to the point of having an intimate relationship with him.
He has been a very good friend and I dare call him my best male friend but what happens when feelings start developing and I am not ready to nurture that feeling?

Dennis told me the other day he had something to tell me and that he needed the perfect time to say whatever it was. I was nervous and scared at the same time.
Was he traveling? Will he be going back to France?. He made mention of something like that when we had a school trip some months ago.
Now I was feeling scared about what Dennis was going to say and why he needed to make a perfect time for it.

I wasn't scared because I had started liking him, rather I was scared because Dennis was everything I needed in a friend, one I couldn't find in any of my female friends.
I could share things with Dennis that I could never share with my girlfriends no matter what.
I guess this is why I started developing feelings for him along the way.
I never wanted Dennis to leave but I couldn't say it either.

One afternoon after lectures, Dennis messaged that he was going to pay me a visit in the evening since I wasn't chanced for a seat out.
I agreed and made preparations for it. Thank God my parents weren't around, they traveled outside the state for a business trip, so I had the house all to myself.

To my greatest surprise, it suddenly started raining the night Dennis was supposed to pay a visit. I thought he wouldn't or couldn't make it anymore.
But to my dismay, I heard the doorbell ring at about 8 pm in the night.
I wondered who it could be and why the person was visiting so late without informing me.
Though I was still anxious about Dennis and why he hasn't called to let me know that he wasn't coming again because of the rain.
Io and behold, when I opened the door, Dennis was all dressed in his jeans and T-shirt with a face cap revealing only his nose and lips.
I wasn't so sure he was the one but my sense of smell never fails me. I could perceive the sweet fragrance of his perfume even through the cold wind and rain.

I was shocked. I thought he wasn't gonna come or make it again.
He said he was caught up in traffic even before the rain started.
I told him it was a little late but I ushered him in.
After the sumptuous meal that night. Dennis told me he was moving.
He said he needed to travel back to France.
I expected this, no actually I suspected this was why he wanted to speak to me.
He told me the reason why he was moving, it was a good one and I couldn't do anything to stop it.
I didn't want to be the reason why he wasn't going back to France.
Inasmuch as I wanted him to stay and not leave, I also wanted him to succeed in whatever he chose to do.

After exchanging pleasantries and saying our final goodbyes, Dennis got up and headed towards the door.
Was this it? Is this how it felt like to walk out on someone?
Is this what people in a relationship or even marriages go through when one party is letting go?
I couldn't tell if it's exactly what it feels like but I did know it was something close.
I felt bitter, so bitter, yet I had to let him go.
I couldn't even confess my feelings cause I didn't want it to be the reason why he was staying.
I just had to bury it and let it go.
Dennis walked to his car under the rain, only for my phone to beep with a message alert.
I love you and I will miss you
It was from Dennis.
I let it out after reading the text message.
It was a sweet-bitter experience and I did let the rain wash it all away.

...The End

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