Revitalizing Vibes

Everyone of us goes through thick and thin, ups and downs, bumps and smooths. No matter what life status we are in, we deal with different situations. The poor man envies the rich for his wealth and fame. When the rich man envies the simplicity of the poor man's life rather than faced with much pressure on his shoulders to manage and deal with responsibilities. Whatever it is, we are all human surviving life's challenges.

This article is but my diary (and a very long one. It may bore you to the core). So if you are expecting something from the title, I'm sorry. This should be something of an encouraging or sort of tips on how to have oneself be revitalize. But I guess I need it myself and I just can't put words to make the article more like it.

The devils within

These past weeks or months I should rather say, me myself and I have been through hell and no one knew. Up until these moments my mind is being knocked by numerous thoughts. Sometimes I get violent that I hurt my eldest due to my frustration which at the end would lead me to lock myself up at the comfort room. I feel like I had to end my suffering, my mind was clouded with black, unimaginable things. Yes, there were times that even the cry of my youngest and the knocking of my two older children at the comfort room's door won't wake me. If only the concrete floor of the bath room would open up and swallow me, never to be seen again. I don't know for how long would I stay that way until the very heavy feeling within me surpasses and the devils of mine would shrink back a little. I will be left with eye bags and red eyes and nose after tormenting myself. Though I don't want my kids to see my looks, I had to come out because of their pleas.

The past week, I had been busy with farm works. It's my way of escape (or so I thought). The situation's gotten worst that I really had my decision to just end it all but for my mother's words did I had to keep going. Should her words been late, then I don't know if am still here writing. Admit it or not, there was never a ray of positivity within this shell of housing we've been living in. It never was a happy home.

Picking us up

This past weekend, my mother called that they will be doing farm works; plowing and rice planting. I told her I will be coming so she asked who will babysit the kids. I told her, my eldest will. Unbeknownst to me, she was on loudspeaker and my dad's listening to our conversation. He took over and told me to bring the kids over. He will be picking us up as soon as I have packed their things.

Without wasting any moment I prepared the kids and packed them clothes, modules, bottles, milk formula and pre-cooled boiled water. Checked the LPG gas, and removed chargers from the socket. It took me an hour when my dad texted that he's already at the highway. I didn't have time to collect the laundered sheets and blankets and left them hanging by the clothesline outside. (Thanks Xzeon to the rescue).

My father came to meet us up halfway the stairways to the road. They dropped me at the fields and I have to remind my eldest again on how to prepare his baby brother's milk. My youngest was looking at me as I closed the van door, I can tell in his eyes he wanted to say something.

At the fields

It feels nostalgic as I was crossing the river to where my mother was already gathering rice seedlings. Everytime I stepped closer to nature, I feel like being one of it. (Not to brag but I made lots of poems about nature during my late elementary to highschool days.) I can feel the constraining sense was slowly removed from its tight shackles.

While doing the task, the talk with my mother is somewhat lighting up my mind. We went to where my brothers were plowing and found them undone with the other paddy. The machine was just newly bought because the old one's engine can't be started up. It took them some time to finish the first one and still can't find the technique on how to use it.

The day ended with just the first paddy planted with rice and we left the machine at the field.

At my parents house

Its been 3 months since we last visited my parents. We came home to their house nearly at 6pm. The blooms outside the house were welcoming with their vibrant hues even at twilight. The kids met us at the door with their excited and shrieking shouts and warm hugs. My first born ran to the bathroom and poured water to the basin for my bath. Am thankful of that.

I can feel the comforting warmth inside and out. I don't know but it's just the feeling everytime I am at my parents'. My kids are well taken care of by their granddad than when their father is babysitting them. They would just eat and play but they will be thought to listen to what older people is telling or asking them. Which is very far from what their father is doing when babysitting them. He would just lie and sleep all day and keep asking my eldest to do things.

The green plants inside the house adds vigor to me. I can feel positive energy radiating within the house.

At the fields again

The following day, the boys (my younger brothers)were able to find out how the plowing machine is operated that they were able to finish the task much easier and faster. We all planted the rice seedlings after they were done. We had a good laugh when one is making fun of the other for being a slow foot. Then the other would only make 4 or 5 rows to catch up with the others to which he was laughed at all the more.

In our place, it is the women who do the planting that's why our youngest (17 year old) was only practicing how to do it. I was thankful that my brothers helped me and our mother with the planting and we got it done past 3pm. Our laughter and jokes echoed through the area, it was just like our childhood days.

Even with the boys alone, I felt lively. It's the time that I was able to forget my worries even for the shortest time.

My mom's blooms

I was looking for the roses but they were not in bloom yet. There were also different varieties of mayana, crab cactuses, orchids but like the roses they're not in bloom yet.I was only able to take pics of my mom's blooms the next day using my youngest brother's mobile phone. It was a gloomy day, a little to heavy rain and wind that I have to use umbrella, I was not able to take good shots.

Closing remarks

They say flowers cure the soul? Well, maybe. As for me, yes. It does not only beautify a house or where it was found. It brings positive vibes and energy and lift the broken soul.

To sum it up, I can say that to freshen up or destress one needs to step to nature and have some time with your family or those people who lift up your spirit.

Nature calms our internal and mental being. And physically, it is reviving as you exercise your muscles and sweat out.