@z_graeden 27 May 2021 more from that month

An Uncivilized Mom I have

"*What could uncivilized mean*?"I was asking myself this question when I first heard it during my elementary days. My momma just got home from the market and I can see the sadness painted in her face. She had a little misunderstanding with our neighbor who happened to ride the same jeepney with her. This neighbor of ours just came from abroad and she called her "Uncivilized. " While I was listening to her while she was narrating the incident to my poppa and my siblings, I kept asking myself what does that word mean. As the days go by, I was able to learn what the word mean, gradually. I know my momma's not like that. Our neighbor just wanted to insult our mother in front of the people by saying my mother was ignorant, uncivilized. She intended to slap the fact to my mother how lowly we are. Yes. We were poor, my family was considered one of those poorest of the poor. I am Jess, the youngest of 9 siblings. My poppa is a farmer without a land of his own to farm. He was just a tenant of the piece of land wherein we were getting our needs to get us by everyday. My momma, on the other hand was a fruit vendor. I can remember one day around 11:00 am, a time to cook for lunch but the rice container contained no more rice to be cooked. My father went to look for guava at the mountain sides but the guavas that time were not yet ready for harvest. Nevertheless, our father gathered them even when they were still small for us to fill our hungry little tummies. Have you experienced having to take packed foods for lunch when you were younger? We were one of those who have to bring packed lunch because the school was far from home. It was approximately 7 kilometers which we needed to traverse in going to and fro. We endure the road which was of heavy dust during the dry seasons and slippery, thick mud on rainy days. Our usual lunch were tuyo( dried salted fish), meat loaf or egg. When my lunch was tuyo, I will hide it from my classmates because they will make fun of me. One morning, we have boiled egg for our viand at lunch. It was cooked in a rushed and it had craters in it when our momma peeled its shell. I can see how my mother was feeling sorry for the appearance of our lunch. And at lunch as expected, my rich classmates laughed at it because they said it's so ugly. Our life became more and more difficult as the days roll by. One Christmas Eve, at dinner our parents came home from the fields and asked if we already had supper. My mother cried when we said we didn't eat yet because there was no viand as well as salt. That was a painful incident for both our parents most especially that when they were on the way from the fields coming home, they passed by the houses with Christmas songs, singing, merry-making, and preparing foods for Christmas. But then they come home to find us hungry with not even a salt to go with rice. At a young age, I was a victim of bullying. Others even include to judge my mother when making fun of me. It was because my mother has an eye defect, she only has one eye functioning. But that didn't hinder our mom to do her best for us, her family. Everything, I took as a challenge to do better in school. It's not to brag but I am doing good in school, a consistent honor student even when I was not able to pass every project because we lack financial to buy the things needed. We helped our parents with whatever we can do. We sell banana along the neighborhood even when the weather's too hot. We even helped in gathering the rice seedling in the bed plot, plant rice then harvest. We collect tiger grass, dried it for easier cleaning then make it into broom and sell it afterwards. No matter how hard we worked and helped our parents, we were still belittled by the people. It got even worst when my two older sisters were impregnated. People threw words at us and judged us. They told me that I also don't have a future and that I will just be like my sisters. One day, we were asked to get out of the land our house was built and we were not allowed to farm the patch of land our father was farming. The new owner was forcing us to leave because we were tenants. This was an additional burden to us but our father tried to fight for our right- we have been tenants for more than 20 years. Because our father tried to fight for our right that the barangay captain slapped him. Why? It was because the new owner of the lot asked or maybe bribed him that's why he was on their side. However, we were able to win the case even when the new owner was scolding us when they see us go to the field. On my graduation day in highschool, our Guest Speaker asked what was the Golden Rule. "Do not do unto others what you don't want others do unto you," I answered when I went up the stage after I raised my hand to answer the question. The audience applauded me while my mother came to meet me and gave me a hug. Education doesn't end after highschool. My parents convinced me to enter college. Luckily, I was granted full scholar by a charity foundation but my poppa told me it won't suffice. So we went to the Capitol to apply for an additional scholarship and fortunately I was again granted. My father told me to enroll and that I told him that I want to take MassCom so we went to look for schools which were offering that course. It was already midday and we passed by restaurants along the way. We can smell those mouthwatering foods they were cooking inside but we can only afford to share the smell, we only have money for our fare. While walking, my poppa asked what does entering and enrolling in college looked like because my siblings weren't able to enter tertiary. But I answered with the same as his because I don't also knew how to. On that very moment, I was even more struck by the truth how lowly we were. Gratefully, the school was accommodating to assist us with my enrollment. My parents doubled their patience, diligence and industriousness to make money when I finally entered college. My father harvested bananas even those not fully ready for harvest so that my mother would have something to sell. My mother, on the other hand sold bread anywhere and she was even called "walking bakery." It was because, her hands were full of bread she was carrying to sell. My parents were too supportive not only with my things I need but with every activity we have in school. An example of this was the stage play we have been performing. Everytime we perform, my father would be there to watch and show me support. That's a wonderful feeling. With much effort my parents and me made, I graduated college as one of the "Cream of the crop". When we were on stage to receive my award, my mother kept hugging me while we were up there on the stage. I felt very proud but my parents were much more proud of my achievements. After graduating, I immediately land a job. Gradually, our life became much more lighter. My two older sisters were able to go abroad and tried their luck their. While my other older sister's job and business became successful. After two years, I was given the honor to be a Guest of Honor and Speaker during a recognition day in our place. There I saw those people who had been belittling me and my family in the past. An elder lady approached me and said, "It's good you have made a good fortune yourself by landing a good job. So, thus with your sister." She wanted to say more but I interrupted her because I don't want the conversation to just circulate about me and I don't want much to be praised. So I politely asked how was she and her children. I can feel she was ashamed of me and reluctant to tell about her but I made her feel that there's nothing she should be ashamed of.. On the other hand, I was the one who feels ashamed of her, of them. If it's not because of their insults, judgements, bad-mouths, and belittlements about us then we were not able to reach where we are right now because "we built a castle out of the stones they threw at us." I just feel so grateful to everything we had been through because it's what made me and my family strong. *****Closing thoughts***** There's no one of us who would stay at the same spot if we really want our situation to be better. And if you're one who is much fortunate than your neighbor, don't be too hard on them and be a miser rather share what you can. And that good deed, for sure will come back to you one day a thousand folds. And if there's anyone out there who's fate is being tested, don't give up and look at the brighter side of it. Remember that your fate is molded by you alone. 05-28-21 *****z_graeden*****