Late But Not Too Late

Hello, read.cash friends, It's been a long time since I last posted here, and I miss you all.

How's your relationship with your grandparents? Is it okay? Are they still with you?

Mine had just died this morning and I'm thankful that she is in no pain anymore. She is the only granny that is left on my father's side. Though we are not so close, actually we had family issues yet at December 8, I was able to visit her in her final days of life.

In the first week of this month, I saw my cousin's post on social media about her getting confined in the hospital and I'm just being discreet about it. I'm confused about what to do because of course, I would respect my mother more and I would not dare to make her feel bad about me about it. But the thing is that, on December 6, she told me that she visited the granny and said she had forgiven her for what she did to her, causing us great pain and poverty over the years. And asked me to come over because she is looking for me too, I'm having doubts, afraid that she will only be scolding me for no reason, she's like that as always, and she's quite scary like to the max.

When I was still a kid and listen to what my parents told about the things that she did, It planted hatred in my heart for her, of course, I am on my parent's side and I feel their pain about what she did.

There was a time, the memories are blurry for me, I was a kid at that time and she summoned my parents into a barangay council, I hid under the table because I got so scared of them shouting at one another and almost hurting each other physically. It traumatized me.

There was a time too that they got to the municipal trial court, and in the final stage of the trial, the judge made my mother and my sister guilty and will be jailed for some time. But my granny said, "I will not let them go to jail lest they will return to me the land that they have, which my father planted with cassava at that time and where we lived. She only gave my parents 1 month, and my poor parents moved their house to where we are living now. At that time, our house's walling and door are made of corrugated sheets, and it took us a very long time to recover from the poverty. My father harvested and sold his cassava crops before they even matured. it pains me so much to remember it.

Just this morning, she passed away and I'm so thankful to God that all is left that I feel for her was pity. no hate anymore. I'm glad I had forgiven her and looked on the bright side that what she did to us made us even stronger emotionally and spiritually.

Me my oldest sister, Labella, and my mother had a very hard time convincing my sister, Louella, who is living in Valencia, Bukidnon to forgive granny and visit her before she leaves. It is my sister Louella who was hurt the most my granny. My mother and sister were done asking her to forgive granny but she was hard as stone. My mother even gave up on her. Then it was my turn to call her last December 9. When her husband answered the phone, I heard her saying to her husband who is convincing her to answer the phone "tubaga, ingna nga dili ko niya ma combinsi!"( answer it and tell them they cannot convince me)

I kept my cool, and even told her "dili nato gubaon ang atong relasyon tungod lang sa mga butang" (let us not ruin our ralationship just because of the things) but all she heard was "gubaon nato atong relasyon tungod sa mga butang" and she went crazy saying many things and I have to top her befrore she reaches the other side of the World. Lols. I stopped her and scolded her. asked her to listen to me. but every time I ask her something she gave me her hard voice as if she is being plastic to me. I told her " don't do your hard voice on me. You are my sister and I know that voice. Don't you dare use that on me now. "

She stopped and let me speak, I asked her, how are you? and she replied "struggling!" and she began to break down. I told her, " I know it's you that has the hardest time at this moment. Let's get through this together, because we are family. I was peeking through a window at this time and looking for a good signal. I bet anyone who heard me will be wondering what might be going on with me shouting on the phone.

She is struggling in her emotional and spiritual life at this moment, she's in so much pain and that pain turned her hatred on to the max level. It was a good thing that the signal is not very stable, The connection of our call was lost and it gave her time to cool down and think. After a few minutes, I called her again and her tone is much cooler now. Then we talked about granny more peacefully. I let her talk, why she felt this way, and even told her, "if you want, come here to satisfy your hate and see her struggling for her life"( reverse psychology) but she said no too it will only be our father that she will remember if she will look at her. I told her "look at the situation on the other side, the pain that she caused you made you you now. Look at you, you are a strong woman and you might be not who you are now if it was not for the pain that she caused you." but she only replied, "maybe".

I even told her that she may turn as a stumbling block for the fellow Christians especially those young ones, but she said "let me be a stumbling block! I don't care. God knows my pain and He knows what's in my heart." I'm speechless.

I gave up on her too. Her pride was way too high. She didn't even bother when I told her that your hatred will only give heaviness into your heart. maybe you can forgive her to lighten it. but all I got is a no too.

I was shocked to know last night that they are coming, and was very happy. She said she asked God what to do and knew it that night that she has to because it is His command. I am so glad she went to granny early this morning, just before she died.

I'm thankful that granny is in no pain anymore. But my heart longs for her love which I was wanting since I was a kid. I'm thankful that my sister, Labella told granny to forgive everyone she hates and thought that had done her wrong. Now I can say that she is in peace and she is now with God where my Father and my Lolo are, as well as some of my Uncles and Aunt.

In her wake, I'm sure that it will be like a reunion for the whole family and I will be very glad to attend it. Now I could say that I love her and was thankful that because of her, I get to know God who is merciful and just to forgive sins.

At this moment, I wanted to cry because of my loss but something is holding my tears back. Maybe it will all come out when I'm alone. At least I got to hold her hand, hug her and did her hair for the first time ever during her final days, it's late but not too late.

For now, I have to sign out at the moment, I still have to finish my work for this week. See you all later.