Every parent has a task of raising healthy children and enabling them to live. Of course, that is not easy. It is crucial that the child grows up in a healthy family, which in the first place implies good communication. If the communication in the partnership is bad, it will later affect parenting.
An indicator of poor communication is when partners prove who is right, when they become rivals, and then there is no room for a compromise solution. Such a model is later transformed to communication with children. They don't listen to the person across the street, they just think about how they will "win" in such a part. You need to move from this rival position to the cooperative position, because that is the only way to establish healthy relationships.
What parents can do is to observe their pattern of communication - are they just native types or can they express how they feel when their child does something and thus allow child to develop compassion for others, to show him to the possible consequences if such behavior continues, but also to suggest possible solutions and "exits out of problems".
Children do what their parents do, no what they say. The best way to enable children to be functional and healthy is to show by example how to communicate.
Every day, take at least half an hour to talk to children about their feelings, who they hang out with, what problem they have or their friends, how their day went, whether there was any injustice at school, in the park. The conversation shouldn't be reduced only to what they learned at school that day and whether they did their homework.
Give them trust and love and then they will not need to lie. Trust is more binding than any punishment. "I believe that they are good and that you are telling the truth", are sentences you should address to your child. Children lie because they do not accept them as they are. So they present themselves in a better light, they lie to us how you would love and accept them, praise them, say how good they are.
It is very important that we listen to them, without criticism and interruption, even when we don't like what we have to hear. In that way, they gain trust in us. Otherwise, by condemning, criticizing and misunderstanding, we are putting up a wall.
You need to react to every behavior that pops out of the box, because it is a call for help, they want you to pay attention to them.
The most important thing that causes a simulating climate in the family is the feeling of warmth, support and love. Children thus know that they are accepted, have a sense of belonging to the family and a sense of togetherness is nurtured.
Dear parent, your children are good, talk to them, it is normal for them to make mistakes. It this way, they learn, they grow. You can be a safe port from which they can sail, explore, and when they want, they can also enter that port. They need to know what your family's value system is, but even if they make a mistake and want to correct it, they need to know that you will help them do so.
Make your children a priority, it's worth fighting for them.
And what about smaller children, for example, form 1-4 years old. We must established a completely unique and useful way of communication with them. When a small child lives with his parents, he is happy to listen to music, singing along with to the music and moving slowly through the animated content and music on the TV or YouTube screen to create a sense of rhythm and means that in the future they will master singing easier. They should be accustomed to the NO-NO method and BRAVO method. When they are close to some danger, they should be warned that it is a place where is not desirable for them to be (for example, a heating body) and if they do something good and make their parents laugh, they should be applauded and said BRAVO. Although they are small, they adopt good and positive tactics so as not to get hurt, which is very important to parent, and at the same time they learn how to play well, think logically and most importantly spread love among themselves (brotherly love and solidarity) and among parents without jealousy.
In the spirit of holidays delight the little ones with a song from the animated film "Frozen" and let our ice queen Elsa melt our hearts with her ice spells:
Literature and lead image: Lily magazine, number 38, fall 2019
That if there are bad relations in the family, the children become nervous, headstrong, rebellious.